So I am Pregnant!
I have put off writing a blog post about it as I think I needed time to lick my wounds after fertility treatment and time to just enjoy being pregnant. It happened the very first month of Clomid treatment- thank heavens, and I am now just over 8 weeks.
The emotional roller coaster that we have been on for the last couple of months has been intense- and I certainly don't know how I could have continued. The treatment was straight forward enough- Clomid tablets on days 5-9 of my cycle and bloods starting day 8. From then I had to drive out to the fertility Clinic on the other side of town every second morning for a 7.30 test. The drive alone took 40minutes and usually fell on my workdays, so I would have to arrange alternative day care drop offs for Annie.
I would call up at 2pm that day for results and even that first day they just quickly spurted out HcG and Progesterone levels without further explanation. It would be indicative of the entire process, where I really had no idea what certain hormone levels or terms meant, and was offered no further insights. It was a stressful, alienating and vulnerable experience.
The worst moment of it all, and the one that really sums up the experience was when I had my positive pregnancy test. I called them up and asked if I still needed to come in for bloods the following day. They said I should and I would have a pregnancy test done. Fine. I proudly showed my test strip and the two happy little lines to the nurse before she dismissively said "Yes well, sometimes the ovulation drugs stay in the system and give a false positive".
I was devastated. I'd had over a day to think I was pregnant, and a day of relief at the whole process being over. The sudden doubt cast over the situation was just as if I lost the baby, and no amount of positive thinking helped. I was also so angry. So angry that it was just typical of the whole fertility treatment experience that not one of the countless nurses I had seen in the weeks prior had thought to mention this chance.
I received a positive Hcg result that day, but had to wait two days to see the level rising- indicating a definite pregnancy. Even now, I am cautiously excited, a little hesitant to get too attached.
We had a scan last week- and there is a super healthy, perfect baby there.
Bubs is due June 25th- the day after my 25th Birthday! Just so long as I am not in labour on my birthday :)