Colour Me Katie

It's a...

2012-01-27T07:24:00.000+11:00

A letter to our baby.

To my beautiful darling,

Well my sweet, this has been a huge week. On Monday we had the big 18 week scan. This was the super important one that checks that you are growing and developing fine.

Luckily you are just perfect- a little bigger than normal and very strong and healthy!

It was so good to see so much of you- the scan lasted more than an hour and we got to watch the whole thing on a big screen in front of us. You are quite the wriggler, my darling!

There was just one small issue- it looks like Mummy has placenta previa. This is where the placenta in laying over the cervix- your escape route! This could turn out fine, as it often moves up to where it belongs as we both grow and stretch. I am quite hoping this is the case as I'd like us to stay with the lovely natural birth centre we are booked into.

But the big news, my sweet baby, is that we able to find out your sex! We found out with your big sister and it meant that we were able to bond that much more. When she was born, we were just excited to finally meet our little girl and discover who she was- what she looked like, what she did etc.

So we waited eagerly for the scan to show and it would seem that you are a BOY!!! We are beyond thrilled and can't wait to meet you and discover who you are- our beautiful, sweet boy!

Lots of love,
Mummy, Daddy and Annie
xxx

"More Annie?"

2012-01-26T14:57:00.000+11:00

So, here I am- reviving my sad little blog after a ridiculous absence!

Let's just say that I am a pregnant mum with a super active toddler. Speaking of which, Annie is the reason I have decided that I will try being a better blogger. I enjoy having a record of her growth and milestones on here, and she just loves seeing pictures of herself. In fact whenever I pull out my camera or phone she runs from wherever she is and peers at the screen asking to see "More Annie?". So that's what I will try to give her (and my annoyed long-distance family)- More Annie!

Annie will be 2 on February 13th. I can't believe how fast that has gone. She is speaking so much now, and up to 3-6 word sentences. She will try any new word she hears- have to be super careful there- and has even started trying to sing. She is an amazingly active and spirited little girl, very rarely walking but preferring to run from one activity to another. She is still rather stubborn and has a very strong will, especially about asserting her independence. The screech "My turn, me do!" can be heard at least 100 times a day. She is still very sweet though, and loves 'big tuddles', and caring for her baby dolls.

On January 1st, we decided to try moving her into her own bed in her room. She has been sleeping in my bed until then, but I was unsure it could continue while I am pregnant- I need t stretch and not have a small person laying all over me. We also wanted to start the transition long before the baby came, so she didn't feel replaced in any way. And what would you know, that first night she slept from 8pm- 5am! She has never slept that long in a stretch! Shane and I got less sleep than usual as we were up checking on her all the time. OK, fine- I was checking.

We have stuck withe the nightly routine of a book (always Gossie) and then into her own bed. She has really settled into this and knows the drill. The time she spends there varies, most of the time she appears at my bedside, and Shane heads to her bed. It's all progress though!

She absolutely loves Lego and will remain focused on building a masterpiece for up to an hour at a time. It is the only time she is happy to potter by herself, and her focus on he task is surprising. She will then carry out some amazing creation and present with a flourish and 'ta-da!'.

I took her to the lake a few times last week, and she was so excited o go in swimming. She even sat down on the sand and edged her way further into the water, until she was sitting with the water up to her chin. She kept exclaiming 'nice water'- it was a very hot day!

She starts Gymnastics in just a couple of weeks- hopefully that will help with all her excess energy! Can't wait to take those cute pics!

And in honor of Australia Day here today- here is a picture of Annie with a genuine Happy Little Vegemite face. (Thanks Uncle Carl!)

Here We Go Again...

2011-11-15T08:57:00.002+11:00

So I am Pregnant!

I have put off writing a blog post about it as I think I needed time to lick my wounds after fertility treatment and time to just enjoy being pregnant. It happened the very first month of Clomid treatment- thank heavens, and I am now just over 8 weeks.

The emotional roller coaster that we have been on for the last couple of months has been intense- and I certainly don't know how I could have continued. The treatment was straight forward enough- Clomid tablets on days 5-9 of my cycle and bloods starting day 8. From then I had to drive out to the fertility Clinic on the other side of town every second morning for a 7.30 test. The drive alone took 40minutes and usually fell on my workdays, so I would have to arrange alternative day care drop offs for Annie.

I would call up at 2pm that day for results and even that first day they just quickly spurted out HcG and Progesterone levels without further explanation. It would be indicative of the entire process, where I really had no idea what certain hormone levels or terms meant, and was offered no further insights. It was a stressful, alienating and vulnerable experience.

The worst moment of it all, and the one that really sums up the experience was when I had my positive pregnancy test. I called them up and asked if I still needed to come in for bloods the following day. They said I should and I would have a pregnancy test done. Fine. I proudly showed my test strip and the two happy little lines to the nurse before she dismissively said "Yes well, sometimes the ovulation drugs stay in the system and give a false positive".

I was devastated. I'd had over a day to think I was pregnant, and a day of relief at the whole process being over. The sudden doubt cast over the situation was just as if I lost the baby, and no amount of positive thinking helped. I was also so angry. So angry that it was just typical of the whole fertility treatment experience that not one of the countless nurses I had seen in the weeks prior had thought to mention this chance.

I received a positive Hcg result that day, but had to wait two days to see the level rising- indicating a definite pregnancy. Even now, I am cautiously excited, a little hesitant to get too attached.

We had a scan last week- and there is a super healthy, perfect baby there.

Bubs is due June 25th- the day after my 25th Birthday! Just so long as I am not in labour on my birthday :)

Quick Bits and Bobs

2011-09-28T13:06:00.006+10:00

My beautiful girl is taking her nap (wore her out with an early morning catch up with my gorgeous friend Gab), so I thought I would quickly write an update on how things are here.

Annie is still amazing and scary smart! She is making connections between words and concepts I thought beyond her and is most of the time happy and full of positive (read: manic) energy. The best way to curb her will-full tantrums and meltdowns is to ask her a question and redirect her attention that way- always letting her thin she decided to make the move! She loves to help and insists on 'making' my morning coffee. I just let he spoon out the coffee and sugar into the cup- resulting in a usually drinkable beverage!

Things are going great guns for my gorgeous Shane. He is now a PUBLISHED author!!! He wrote an awesome graphic novel and is having a fabulous run of luck in similar areas. I am so proud of him, but want to do a designated blog on his work- whenever I get a chance!

I am in the midst of my first month of clomid fertility treatment and already very over it. My veins apparently aren't great so repeated attempts at blood tests and massive bruising every couple of days is wearing thin. The 40 minute trek to the other side of the city to the fertility clinic before 7.30am on these days is also quickly losing it's novelty value. Will also write a blog on this whole process at some stage- just need more hours in the day! Otherwise I am loving gardening at the moment, and am slowly making improvements around the place.

And just because she is gorgeous- my Annie:

Fertility

2011-08-31T10:52:00.002+10:00

Shane and I are currently trying for another baby. I hadn't planned on posting anything until there was actually some news to post- but I have just received some shocking news.

I am still seeing my fabulous ob/gyn who fixed up all my unhealed birth injuries from Annie. Routine follow up and I mentioned that we were trying again. He wanted to do bloods just to make sure everything was healthy and working as it should. I thought absolutely nothing of it until I got the results on Monday. Turns out there is a little hormonal imbalance which explains the cycle irregularity- no biggie. But they have a new test now- an anti mullerian hormone test which, put simply, measures your egg reserve. Given I am just 24 years old the scaled number should be well over 30 or more. I have a reading of just 6.

This means that I have a very very small supply of eggs left in my basket and this puts me in the very low fertility class. As time is running out- your eggs decrease as you age, my doctor is on a mission to get me pregnant! Hmm, that didn't sound right. I am being out on Clomid next cycle, a drug which forces your body to ready and release an egg. I've been referred to our fertility centre where I'll be monitored closely and my 'hatching eggs' will be counted- they want to warn me if there are multiples etc.

I am still in shock, some three days later, and have only just been able to think about writing something. I am however so amazed at all the luck I have had to this point.

I am so lucky that I met my gorgeous husband first year of uni and we both had the feeling that "this is it'. I am so lucky he asked me to marry him just 18 months later. I am so lucky we found our beautiful house and were able to buy it just two months after getting married. I am so so so lucky that we fell pregnant quite quickly with our beautiful daughter. I am so lucky that I mentioned our attempts to conceive and got this test done-I never would have known otherwise.

I guess I am feeling a little shell-shocked that at 24 I am looking at such rapidly declining fertility. I just wish I could express how grateful I am that I have followed my heart into motherhood knowing that it was what I was meant to do. All I ever wanted to do. I will have a career, but after my children. Imagine if I had done what everyone else does and when I'd graduated uni- gone straight into a career for a decade or more before attempting to start a family.

I do somehow think that maybe I knew. Something told me to make my life choices the way I did for a reason. Or something.

If It's Not OK For Annie...

2011-08-24T14:00:00.002+10:00

I have a new diet philosophy. One that might actually work.

I have put on the weight in a bad way since having Annie-Boo 18 Months ago. I am still breastfeeding, and have only just accepted that it may not be the magic weight loss plan they say it is. If anything I have put on more weight feeding an active toddler. Can you believe 'they' lied?!

Anywho- I have admitted that I may actually have to be proactive if I want to get back down to a decent weight. Now, like most women I have tried it all. Weight Watchers, fads and even not eating at all. Most were successful for a little while, then I'd slip back into old habits and find all the weight I'd lost.

I recently had a little bit of an epiphany. It was a normal day and I was making Annie her lunch. She has one of those little divider plates with different sections for different foods. I made her a fun little selection including fresh fruit, cheese, a wholegrain sandwich and some yogurt. She had a sippy cup of water as well. I then proceeded to make another cup of coffee with sugar, grab a chocolate biscuit and clean up the kitchen as she ate.

Huh. Why was I taking so much care with what I fed her, with not a thought for myself? It is just one example of my whole mindset since having a child- one I am sure most mums can relate to. It extends to all aspects of life including exercise- she isn't a fan of her pram so we don't walk anymore.

I know it is a fairly simple realisation, but I thought that if I took the care with my diet that I do Annie's, it may lead to an overall healthier approach. I am actually fairly strict with Annie's diet- not processed crap and certainly no junk or sweets. Imagine if I applied it to myself?!

So from now on my diet philosophy is "If it's not OK for Annie... It's not OK for me!"

Moo More?

2011-08-03T12:26:00.003+10:00

In the last few weeks Annie's vocabulary has come along in huge strides! She has added some impressive new words to her list. Here is everything (I think!) that she says now at 17 months.

Mummy
Daddy
Nummy (yummy)
Dummy
Nappy
Yes (said with the cutest little lisp and an enthusiastic nod of her head)
No
Bar (for Barkley)
Puppy (a little "woof woof" can sometimes be also prompted!")
Ball
Yay
Uh Oh
Hi
"Woe Woe" (meaning Row Row, and done with little rowing arm movements signalling she wants to sing "Row Row Row your boat...)
Roar (done enthusatically when she sees a lion)
"Moo More?" (One more? Asked after every song and book, and inevitably results in agreeing just for the sheer cutest of her little face when he asks!)

We have also had sporadic appearances of Monkey, cheese, shoes, wow and tickle

To be honest I had started to wonder about her talking as her comprehension was amazing and she could even follow complex directions, but just didn't seem interested in talking. I guess I was just surprised as she was walking at 9 months, so the language did seem to lag quite a bit. No problems now though, and she is really attempting to mimic so much that she hears, building on her now quite impressive vocab.

She is also starting to build basic sentences- her first being after a breastfeed when she smiled at me and said "Mummy Nummy!". I actually got teary at this one.

"Moo More?" is her most oft heard sentence, as well as "Mummy...[insert desired object here]" eg "Mummy.. NAPPY!"

Annie is already starting to show interest in toilet training, and has been telling us when she has done something for a couple of months. She is fascinated by the toilet and asks to get on it daily, but then gets a little scared and wants off. We are certainly no pushing her, but letting her take the lead on this one. She does love her little padded ducky toilet seat, and will demand the duck song whenever she sees it!

She really is a toddler now- crazy how fast that went!

Dancing Girl

2011-07-13T22:25:00.004+10:00

Cutest video ever- seriously!

Professional Family Pics

2011-06-01T22:18:00.003+10:00

To celebrate and record Annie's 1st birthday back in February we got a family photo session done with one of our favourite photographers. Sebastian in fact also did our wedding! We only just got them back today and here is a small collection of the best.

It was only three months ago, but I can't believe how much Annie has already grown and changed!

Working Mama

2011-06-01T13:01:00.002+10:00

It has now been nearly two months since I dropped the basket of wet washing, closed the door on a mega mess of toys on the floor and wiped thrown pureed apple off my shoulder to head back to the world of the working.

Its just a two day a week gig, but in an area I am interested. Just admin stuff but with lots of responsibility and perhaps scope for project work. Plus they let me update their website and Facebook sites to my little heart's content.

I am loving my little security pass and the fact I get to go make a hot coffee in the tea room. I have collegues to talk to and a real sense of accomplishment when I achieve a task, something more respected than finishing the laundry in record time or stacking my Tupperware!

This could have been one of the only jobs I would have let take me away from home, but it has not all been fun.

Annie did not like being left at daycare. She would cry and reach for me as I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. Everything about walking away from her was wrong, and I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. I would cry as I drove, determined that "this is it, I am quitting and going home with my baby".

Alas we needed the money and once I was at work, I'd enjoy myself, but inevitably feel guilty for doing so. The daycare would always say that once I had left she had a good day, but I wasn't there so didn't really know. There was a lot I didn't know now about my little girl. What did she play with? Who were her friends? How did they put her to sleep when I still have to breastfeed her snuggled in my bed?

I hated that we were apart, and hated that I missed so many hours and hated that I really did need to work. I haven't posted on my work until now as I really was in such a battle with myself everyday about being away from Annie.

Just yesterday though, I dropped Annie off and she didn't cry. In fact she was so busy drawing she barely looked up as I left. She had things to do, and they didn't include me. I was so amazed at her willingness to just get on with it, but of course felt that tug of guilt and pain; "she doesn't need me!"

I think overall daycare will be good for her. She gets to socialise with other little people and learn things she may not have otherwise. She will understand that other people are ok too, and Mummy doesn't always have to be there. Her independence is already growing, though she always was such a curious and adventurous spirit.

Our time together is even more valued, something I didn't think possible, but just two days apart makes me stop cleaning or cooking and play a game with her. I've realised that the housework will wait (at least until nap-time) and reading a story together is much more fun!

Blogging Break

2011-05-04T22:28:00.002+10:00

Its been a little quiet around here... there goes the tumbleweed now.

I am having a short break from blogging. If I am not at work I am with Miss Annie- and believe me when I say that she leaves no time for sitting and blogging. She is into EVERYTHING and like a hyper little puppy she runs from one scene of mischief to another. And then there are the world- is- ending- throw- yourself- on- the- ground tantrums when mischief is thwarted.

I will be back soon- just gotta get organised and maybe get me a baby cage or leash.

Lots of VERY EXCITING stuff happening... can't wait to tell you all! :p

Our New Piano

2011-03-27T19:31:00.003+11:00

We have noticed that Annie just loves music and dancing. Perhaps because Shane and I have no talent in these areas we are keen that Annie is given the opportunity to pursue these interests if she wants.

We have spoken for a while about getting her a piano for later on, but last week got an amazing opportunity. On the bulletin board at Shane's work we found a piano- for free! It belonged to a family who recently got a digital piano- so it's surplus to their needs. It is in perfect condition and is absolutely gorgeous!
It is made of solid mahogany and is over 100 years old. We hired a removalist company to get it to our house safely and we are just thrilled with it.

Its already a hit. Annie plays it all the time and still gets really into it! It could just be that we are completely musically uneducated/ biased but sometimes her random plinking sounds great- almost real music! Okay, we are just very biased parents.

We may not have much money at all at the moment, and the professional movers fee really hurt, but we think this is a worthy investment. Annie's education will always come first and we will do everything we can to broaden her horizons- in every way. Roll over Beethoven, Annie's here!

Welcome To Fun At Gymbaroo

2011-03-24T21:09:00.005+11:00

Annie's Granddad gave her a term of classes at Gymbaroo for her birthday, a gift which is still giving lots of fun! I was keen on the classes for their amazing equipment, something can't really offer at home. There is also music and activities to aid both physical and language development.

After nearly a term of classes I can definitely see the benefits for Annie related to her physical confidence. She will now climb everything and is fearless tackling every part of the circuit.

She is also becoming more independent there in general, just wondering off to explore. Though some of this could just be her natural growth as a curious toddler.

My only gripe about the classes is that they are incredibly fast paced. While our Annie is indeed a bundle of energy- she does have remarkable focus if she is enjoying an activity or object. They will have a session playing with a ball but it will last not longer than one or two minutes, and the child is lucky of they even get a hold before it is taken off them. Annie is still not used to this and glares as they collect the beanbags, ribbons maracas etc.

We have met some lovely mamas and babies at the classes though, and it will be good to implement the games and songs at home. I have loved our weekly classes but don't think we will continue next term. It will just be too busy when I am working. I think we will have to find a climbing gym thing for our backyard though- our little monkey needs to climb!

Have you taken your little ones to Gymbaroo or other baby gyms? What did you think?

The One Where We Headed To The Coast.

2011-03-16T21:28:00.003+11:00

Last weekend we headed to the South Coast with our good friends Rory and Jess for a lovely trip celebrating Jess' Birthday. It was Canberra Day Long weekend, so took the Monday to travel back- along with the rest of Canberra. Don't you love that we just made up our own public holiday? Slacker public servants!

Anyways, it was a very nice trip- especially given we only actually decided to join them on Saturday, and then traveled down on Sunday!

Annie and her friends on the way down. She happily chatted the entire way.

Surprise, surprise: Annie loves the ocean! This is particularly amusing as she really hates baths and showers. We now have a theory that it is clean water she hates.

She screamed with laughter with every wave, and loved standing in the sand as the tide went out. A particularly big wave scared her and ended our beach expedition- until next time!

New Job!

2011-03-11T09:15:00.000+11:00

I have a new Job! An amazing, wonderful, perfect fit for me, happened-by-chance job! It is with the Equality Rights Alliance and is under the umbrella of the YWCA. It is just admin, but I think it will be a great learning experience, and who knows I may even work up to take on more responsibility with projects.

The hardest part of deciding to take this job, is of course Annie. I had planned to go back to uni this year to do secondary teaching, but it was impossible. I actually had one week there and that was enough. It was a great new joint initiative between the Australian Catholic University and a local high-school. We would have all classes on the school campus and have a mentor teacher to shadow. It is aimed at transitioning new teachers into the classroom gently and reducing the drop out rate from the profession. A truly brilliant idea.

However the school that the uni partnered with is an hour's drive from home. The first day I did nearly four hours driving just to get there and back for morning and afternoon classes (I had to pick Annie up from her grandparents and take her home to Shane for the second shift, while I headed back to uni.) Leaving uni after 7pm and a 12 hour day left me exhausted- I don't know how I could do that every week.

I was only doing part-time, which meant one long Tuesday, but the course of only 23 people only had one other part-timer, and we weren't really catered for. They assumed everyone would be there all the days, so would announce attendance at the staff meeting or mass etc, and I was expected to just come in for those events too. Not really possible when I had enough trouble organising care for Annie that one day. Also being a part-timer I was overlooked for crucial elements of the program such as the mentor teacher- because that ran on Wednesdays.

So after just one week of dipping my toe into teaching I decided to delay. I was actually quite upset as I really got the feeling that teaching is something I could really do, and love. I was just enthralled with "Educational Psychology" and "Classroom Management". But alas, it's just not possible this year. I will probably go back at some stage, either to another university with more traditional family friendly structures and timetabling or attempt this one full-time once Annie is in school.

I had these doubts on that first day and when I brought Annie home for Shane, quickly checked my emails. Thanks to the guidance of a good friend, I found the position at Equality Rights Alliance and decided to apply. I was at an interview two days later and found out I got the job last week.

It will be 15 hours and I can pick how I do them. I am leaning towards 2 longer days as it means less total time away from Annie (with the commute etc) but will see how we go finding childcare first! This terrifies me- but I really think she will be OK. She is very confident and social, so should be just fine. It will be me that will be the on crying at the gates, holding onto her leg!

I start in April, and am really looking forward to it. Just have an awful lot to do to prepare!

Retro Baby

2011-03-10T09:35:00.000+11:00

Here is Annie wearing one of my old knitted dresses from when I was her age. Excuse the mess of he bedroom- she really loves to trash it when we play in there!

My beautiful Nan used to sew and knit all my clothes as a child- everything really except undies, singlets and jeans. I must admit that her memory is the real reason I want to learn to do these crafty things, as she really embodied what a mother is. I feel that if I can learn to make Annie's clothes, I will be on my way to becoming a little more like her.

Blog 'Business Cards'

2011-03-09T13:31:00.004+11:00

I am off to the Aussie Bloggers Conference in just 10 days.. yay! I am very excited about meeting many of the other bloggers that I feel I know already from reading their sites. I imagine, though, that I'll become starstruck and wonder if I will be able to actually go talk to any of them!

Anyways, on the off chance I find my networking/ mingling mojo I have printed some business cards to hand out as I meet people. I never would have thought of this, until I read about the idea online, but it's such a great idea. I can imagine otherwise trying to write down my blog name on scraps of paper or napkins to give to a new friend!

Shane helped me to design them, and I am really happy with the result!

I got them printed with Vistaprint, and they even came with the cutest little silver holder. The turnaround time was also super fast- I ordered them late last Friday night and they got here today (the following Wednesday).

I almost feel like a real blogger! Hmm...just need to actually blog more!

Mummy's Little Monkey

2011-03-04T21:03:00.004+11:00

So it turns out that we have a climber on our hands. Annie can climb anything. From getting onto the couches to attempting to climb up her bookshelves, she does it all. And try and tell her that the chair is just for sitting? She'll laugh, blow a raspberry and begin to dance!

I was on the little step ladder in Annie's room rearranging her mobiles. Next thing I know she is coming up the ladder behind me. Of course Shane ran to get the camera before pulling her down!

Here she is riding her walker wagon. She actually tries to rock this back and forth while standing on it.
And here is Annie surveying the damage. You may innocently enter Annie's room for playtime, but you may never leave for all the toys in your way!

Portrait Art

2011-03-04T20:18:00.004+11:00

I may have mentioned before that I am a Girl Guide Leader with a group of 15 five and six year olds. We have a fundraiser coming up and it was suggested that every girl in the district to a self portrait to place into an art show and sale. The proceeds of which will go to the World Thinking Day fund (basically an international Guide cause to pay for guiding in poorer countries.)

I took a photo of each of the girls and printed them as an 8 x 10 image. I enlisted Shane's help to Photoshop the images and print me a grey outline- like a sketch of the photo. I then cut the pics in half and stuck them onto the printed image. Here's the one I made of me to show the girls what to do.

I then used crayons to 'colour' in the other side of my face. Which ended up looking like this- which took literally 5 minutes.

I have learned: never take a close up 8 X 10 enlargement of your face- unless, unlike me, you have a terrific complexion!

I took the pieces to Guides on Thursday and ran my first solo meeting. It went wonderfully and the girls really enjoyed it. I know this type of art work has been done to death, but I thought this method would be easier for the girls to do, and to have a great result.

We finished them off by mounting all the portraits onto A3 art paper and colouring in the borders. Pro- colourers I tell you- they were awesome!

Annie is One (And one week)!

2011-02-13T19:48:00.006+11:00

So I have been terrible and left my blog sitting idly while so much happens. Annie turned one exactly a week ago... and what a wonderful day! Annie was in a terrific mood all day and absolutely loved having so many family and friends here at home for the event. There are just so many aspects that made the day special.

I had so much fun decorating the house for her party- I put up the "Celebrate" bunting I made, balloons and beautiful yellow paper poms.

The highlight though was her ducky cake. I have never made a themed cake before so was extremely pleased that it turned out. Annie quite liked grabbing the coconut feathers and approved of the icing so that's a success!

I seems that she also enjoys party food- and gobbled down a chocolate crackle that Granddad sneakily gave her!

Annie received some absolutely gorgeous presents, and she has just figured out the fun of opening them.

She even got her very first phone call from her cousins; Summer and Finn in Toowoomba, who sang her Happy Birthday.

I know I am imagining it, but since hitting one Annie seems so much older. She has been able to walk for three months but this week walked through the mall on a shopping trip- just holding my hand and happily toddling along. It is a small thing, but a big step from the pram to go shopping. She also got a beautiful pair of jeans for her birthday and while she has some little overalls, the jeans really make her look like a big girl.

I can't believe I have a one year old! And such an incredibly smart, sweet, confident and funny little girl too. We are the luckiest parents ever!

An Early First Birthday

2011-02-02T10:33:00.003+11:00

Today is February 2nd, and this day last year was Miss Annie's due date. I became fixated in that date, sure that by then I'd have my baby. Of course I was told that the chances were slim- most first babies are late but somehow I naively believed that surely my little one was as eager as me to meet each other.

So February 2nd came and went and I stayed huge and puffy and getting grumpier and grumpier. I'd waddle defiantly up and down the hills in our street a few times each day- huffing and puffing and ordering her out. I'd wait 11 more days before our little one was 'encouraged' out.

The day has me thinking about Annie's arrival, the excitement leading up to her birth, and what a wonderful time the last 12 months have been. The last year has been massive and we have met some beautiful people. Like Annie's little friend Addison and his gorgeous mum, Candice. They are moving interstate just two days before Annie's birthday, and feel terrible that they will miss the celebration. Yesterday we had schedualed a play date at their house, and when I arrived (a little late- oops) found that it was actually a surprise early birthday party for Annie!

There were pink and purple balloons everywhere, masses of homemade treats and fairy bread and the most beautiful cake. It was pink with a yellow duck (Annie's favourite animal). There were presents and then some water time in the paddling pools- it was 38 degrees here yesterday.
I was so moved that so much effort had gone into the day- and I am so sad they are leaving.

The friends you make as a mama are so special, and you become so close very quickly. The support, encouragement and coffee time are so important as you are often going through the same things and understand each other so well.

Candice is not the first mama friend to move away in recent months; our dear friend Ollie and his beautiful mum Kirsten headed off to Melbourne a few weeks ago- so we need to find more babies to play with soon!

Adventurous Toddler

2011-01-25T21:45:00.004+11:00

It turns out we have a very adventurous toddler! My little Annie has been getting more confident with her walking, and is such a pro now. She is exploring everything, and is self assured enough to venture off a good distance from Mummy.

We went to a playgroup at the park last week and she spotted some ducks (her favourite) and headed after them. She even tuned around to look at how far from me she had gotten before continuing on her merry way. This astounds me as it seems her ability to go off and explore was realised overnight.

Annie is also still so inquisitive and curious. She loves having someone's hand to hold, and taking them for a walk around the house and garden. She'll do endless laps of the house, just looking around and exploring. The huge development now is that she will take anyone for a walk- even reaching for a stranger's hand in the shopping mall. She is happiest though when tinkering in her room, pulling her baskets out and upending them sending toys scattering.

Annie's mischievous nature is shining, with such fun activities as balancing watermelon on her head, and throwing her dinner to Barkley. She has learned how to get out of our big bed by reversing up to the side and easing herself down until her feet hit the floor. All her toys are being thrown in the empty bath tub for some reason, and we also found a kitchen spatula in there the other day.

We are pleased she is such a mischievous monkey, it makes for much more fun and a sense that she is really engaging with the world around her.

You'd think that all this adventure would mean more sleep- but alas she has a tooth coming through so nights are worse than ever. She throws herself around in frustration, headbutting my nose more than once. I am really hoping that something will click soon and she may even sleep though the night. I can dream!

Swimming in Scone

2011-01-08T11:32:00.003+11:00

This morning Annie went swimming for the first time ever. It's a first that has been a long time coming... we just kind of dropped the ball on this one! As luck would have it I got to take her to the local Scone pool where we are staying at dad's, and she got to swim where I swam at her age.

She quite enjoyed the water, and walked up and down the length of the baby pool many times. She even got brave enough to stand by herself and splash for a bit!

Watching the swimmers training in the 'big pool'. If she takes up swimming later in life this is where it started!

Ok... tired now, time to go home.

Hugs for Barkley

2011-01-06T09:00:00.000+11:00

Annie and I are holidaying at my dad's house in Scone this week. Before we left, Annie developed a very cute new skill- hugs for Barkley Dog. She is becoming a very sweet and affectionate little girl, giving out lots of cuddles and kisses to Mummy and Daddy. This has just extended to her bear, sippy cup and now Barkley.

He isn't to sure what to make of it, particularly when she climbs into his bed to give him cuddles!

Water Play

2011-01-05T12:00:00.002+11:00

Last weekend was a scorcher in Canberra, so after realising Annie might enjoy some water play (she was insistent about playing in the dog's water bowl) I set up a tub of water and toys outside.

She had a great time and couldn't believe her good fortune at being allowed to make a mess!

Busy At Home

2011-01-03T17:25:00.004+11:00

This week while Shane has been off work has been one of lovely homebody relaxation. We managed to get into a lovely routine of up in the morning, breakfast, play time in Annie's room, washing then a nap for Annie. While she napped we accomplished so many things on our (my) to-do- list.

We painted over the full wall mural in the study of Finding Nemo. This was here when we moved in, and despite the owners excitedly showcasing the piece as a selling point- the fish were scary and evil looking! We tried to hide them with book shelves but finally got around to painting the wall the same cream as the others.

We cut down our lovely climbing Jasmine bush that had sadly fallen off the fence and perished. That was a huge job, but as we had the trailer decided to look around and see what other greenery could go...

We cut down a massive spiky prickly bush that grew right at our front door. It was filled with bees (which Shane is allergic to) and gave him hay fever. It was an easy decision. The cut down was hard enough and then we reached the trunk- with roots bigger than my arm! After two days we finally got the darn thing out. I am happier with the more opened up front view, though its taken some getting used to.

With a massive empty space out the front I decided to put in some more hydrangeas, with the hope they will join with the one fledgling plant I already have in the front and all thrive together. Just today we also spread a huge amount of redwood mulch over the garden and I am very happy with the result.

A very domestic week off, but got some long due house things done!

Farewell 2010.. What a Year You Have Been!

2010-12-31T21:54:00.003+11:00

Our family has had such a wonderful year this year. Of course the reason for such an abundance of joy and love is named Annie. In the final post for 2010 we thought it best to simply post the most recent entry to Annie's journal. This is the special book we write letters in, detailing the growth and changes of our little girl, and have done since before she was born. This seems fitting giving that it gives a small insight into what a fantastic year 2010 has been!

Happy New Year to you all and see you back here in 2011 for (hopefully more consistent) blogs!

---

Dear Annie,

It’s New Year’s Eve today. Tomorrow it will be 2011, and the start of your second calendar year with us. So much has happened this year, it feels like these journals only capture a tiny portion, a miniscule snapshot of our life together. We love being parents, and you are the most incredible baby we could possibly have imagined.

You had your first Christmas just a few days ago, and you were spoiled rotten by the entire family. You got so many presents, we don’t know where to put them all! You love playing with your new toys, and when you’re able to figure out some of these toys all by yourself, we are just so impressed and proud of you! For Christmas, you gave your grandparents and your great-grandfather a DVD with highlights of the many home movies mummy and daddy have taken since mummy was pregnant with you, so they can all share in these great moments as well.

And there are so many moments. They are coming thick and fast now. It seems that every day, you are developing a new skill, or do something new that makes us say, “We have to remember to put that in Annie’s book.” I think the following entry will cover most of those moments, though it’s possible that there might be one or two that slip the net for now.

(One example of a moment that slipped the net was your first TV appearance, back in June of this year. We have it on DVD, and have included a copy here for your amusement. I don’t think we’ve mentioned this before.)

Unfortunately, you didn’t really enjoy the Wiggles too much. It was very, very hot in the stadium, and you hadn’t had your nap, so mummy took you out of the concert early. That’s okay though – we think you might enjoy them more when you’re a little older. Mummy and daddy recently went to see some live music too – Bon Jovi at the Sydney Football Stadium. You stayed in our hotel room with Pop and Grandma while we were at the show, and you were an absolute angel (thanks).

You are so curious, so determined to interact with everything. You love to poke your head around corners to see what’s going on, and to look around at people. You wave at complete strangers, and look disappointed when sometimes they don’t wave back at you. It’s exciting to watch you develop this social side, and we are very proud. You are also an incredibly happy and expressive baby.

You are becoming more and more vocal every week. In the last couple of weeks, since just before Christmas, you have started using the word ‘mum’ a lot. For a lot of babies, this is just a noise they make, but we are sure that you are using the word in context most of the time, and that you know what it means. We are definitely sure that you understand some of what we are saying, even if you can’t repeat it back to us, as you either follow our suggestions (such as putting a toy away) or blatantly ignore us with a cheeky smile (such as when we ask you not to drop your food on the floor).

You are also able to communicate with us, using a system of signals you have developed on your own. Waving your hands side to side means a very emphatic ‘no, I don’t want that.’ Cocking your head to one side means ‘don’t get mad, I’m being cute.’ You point at things you want, you are able to indicate whether you are hungry, or tired, or whether your teeth are hurting. It makes looking after you much easier, and probably makes your life a little better too.

You are eating so well at the moment. Your favourite foods at the moment include arrowroot biscuits, cheese, fish and peas. Your diet is varied and mostly very healthy, though we do occasionally let you indulge in foods such as Cheerios and fries. Mostly you are happy just to eat what we eat, which makes things so easy – thank you for that.

We are having a lot of fun too. We have recently begun raspberry wars. One of us (often you) will blow a raspberry, and then the other one will respond with another raspberry. Often this game can last upwards of ten minutes. You love to imitate us in other ways as well, which is just delightful to see. Recently, in games of peek-a-boo, you have decided to be the one doing the peeking-and-booing, and we all love it.

One of your favourite games at the moment is pushing your high chair around the dining room. If Barkley has to run out of your way, you think it’s hilarious, and will often steer the chair towards him just for that reaction.

You don’t need your chair for walking around though, as you have begun to ‘free walk’ regularly. You’re still a little unsteady, especially when you’re a bit tired, but your walking is getting better and better every day. When combining your mobility with your curiosity, we expect that you will be quite a handful in 2011.

Happy New Year, baby girl. It’s hard to believe you’ve only been here a bit over ten months (especially when you’re doing things some babies twice your age have trouble with), as you have turned our lives wonderfully upside down. We can barely remember a time before you were part of our lives. Thank you for making us a family, and for a brilliant 2010. We love you!

Mummy and daddy

Celebrate!

2010-12-16T16:29:00.002+11:00

My Shane Boy is ever so clever... he just received his offer to begin a Phd next year. The offer also includes the scholarship we desperately need for the plan to be a reality. This is fabulous news as it means no matter what, my darling husband will get to go back to studying next year doing something he really enjoys.

He has been so miserable working full time in the public service, finding very little time for his creative pursuits. While he will still have to work part time (we do have a mortgage) at least he will hopefully enjoy the 'break' study time will bring.

And fun bonus, we will now both be back at uni at the same time! Ahh if only we had those proper lazy student schedules to go with it! Big happiness in our house today- next year will be great!

The Owls

2010-12-07T11:25:00.003+11:00

We have some new little residents in our house... a cute collection of owls. I was browsing Freecycle last night and a lovely lady was looking for a new home for a whole collection of owl figures. Which I grabbed immediately.

My dad has had a lovely collection of owls for some years now, and I've always loved them. When I became a Girl Guide Leader I chose the name Brown Owl to honour the first leader I had back in Brownies, and because I just love owls. They are cute and quirky but also noble, wise and intelligent.

The thing is though- I've never been much of a collector. I prefer not to get too caught up in "stuff". It's laziness, really. I know I wouldn't want to dust it all. So my owls are on probation. They can sit there and be all cute and wise, while I decide if they can stay!

Here they are:
I particularly like the cute little trio bottom left and the white one slightly to the right of them.

Oh Christmas Tree!

2010-12-04T08:07:00.003+11:00

Yesterday we put up our Christmas tree and decorations. The first thing to be out out is always my nativity scene. It's the Willow Tree one and it's absolutely beautiful in its simplicity. I saved to buy it for our first Christmas living together, back in our dodgy rental. It was more money than we really had as students, but I am so happy to have it now.

Our tree is trimmed in gold and silver- and I am enjoying what will probably be the last year if getting to plan and decorate the tree myself. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to decorate it as a family and I can't wait to have home made decorations on it made from pipe cleaners and glitter!

It is tucked into he corner by the lounge and entertainment unit to prevent small fingers from grabbing, and because, well, our house is tiny and its the only available space!

Here are some of my favourite decorations- what I called the "interest pieces" and got laughed at!

I found a gorgeous vase at a garage sale recently and am planning a very cheap, but hopefully effective table centrepiece with it. Will pop back in once I round up all my materials from around the house!

Surgery and Other Complications

2010-11-30T18:09:00.002+11:00

Yesterday I went to the doctor- my new Lady Things Doctor, and it turns out I need surgery. Apparently I was right and I'm not meant to still be sore... 9 and a half months after birth. Things just ain't healing, and the repair job from third degree tearing just wasn't up to scratch.

I have learned I need a night in hospital to be all fixed up, but will have to wait until the new year as everyone is heading off on holidays. I am feeling a mix of emotions about this. So darn relieved that it will soon be all better and Annie may not have to be an only child forever :p I'm also feeling vindicated that I wasn't just being wussy and precious.

I am also freaked out about the logistics of being away for at least a 24 hour period. The doctor was wonderful when I said I'm still breastfeeding and is trying to get me onto the maternity ward so Annie can stay with me. I am not convinced that I will be up to having her with me- especially in a single hospital bed with her bed-hogging, face- kicking, booby -pinching co-sleeping ways. And after anesthetic... may not be the most responsive, attentive mumma.

So I have begun Operation Get Annie to Sleep In A Cot, And Not Have Night Feeds. Night One: Unsuccessful. Two hours of gently laying her down in the cot, and then picking her up and soothing her before trying again had us all exhausted and upset. I am certainly not a "Cry-it Out" kind of mumma, and refuse to damage our bond this way. So I took her to our bed and we nestled down as usual for "Milk and Cuddles".

I do quite like co-sleeping, particularly as Annie still feeds through the night. The thought of dragging myself out of bed and traipsing across the house is awful, though I do think we need to get Annie less dependent on me. We have now put a cot next to our bed- never used that I will try again to get her into. I dream of being able to put her into her cot and not hear a peep all night!

I would also like to keep breast-feeding her until she is at least 12 months, but worry how this upcoming time apart will affect her. It may be the beginning of the end, so to speak.

This event only pre-empts a whole raft of changes in our house. Next year I am planning on going back to uni to become a teacher, and will need to be away from Annie a lot more. I worry that at the moment she is so attached and dependent on me that she won't cope at all. I've thought that a strict routine may be the way to get her better at being with anyone- especially her Grandparents who will have her while I'm at class. I double guess myself when I see what an adaptable, flexible- not to mention happy and clever-baby Annie is- purely because I've followed her lead and just been with her.

So that's where we are at right now. I am torn about injecting rigour and routine to make Annie less dependent on me- it goes against all the attachment parenting principles that I found so wonderful in building our bond. Any advice?

Walking!

2010-11-28T16:53:00.002+11:00

Last Tuesday our little Annie took her first unassisted steps! She was exactly 9months and 10 days old. She has been walking very well holding our hands for a couple of months, and has been building up her confidence- sometimes even breaking into a run!

I put her on the floor in front of me, as she has been showing growing steadiness and balance standing for a few seconds by herself- when arms waving above her head like a little monkey she wobbled forward about four steps!

The best part is that I immediately grabbed the video camera and caught her encore performance for Daddy. She has now shown her new talent many times live over the last couple of days though, and he is most impressed.

I am so looking forward to her becoming totally unaided in her walking, as bending over holding her hands for the 100th lap around the house gets a little tiresome. What am I saying? Now I have to actually think about baby-proofing- gar!

Daddying for Development

2010-11-22T07:49:00.006+11:00

Hold on to your hats: it's another Shane guest post!

Bringing up baby is not always fun.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love my little girl dearly, and she is free and clear my second-favourite person on the planet. But there are times, particularly when she is throwing one of her newly-discovered temper tantrums, that I have quite uncharitable thoughts about her, wondering why I'm spending my weekend this way, and whether Katie could just deal with it so I can have a few minutes to myself. And sometimes, even when I'm with her, I find my mind is a million miles away, thinking about totally unrelated matters.

And that, of course, feeds into guilty feelings. I only really get two days a week when I can spend time with Annie, and I'm her dad: I'm supposed to love her, to want to be with her, no matter what she's doing.

But I spent a bit of time examining these feelings this past weekend, and I've decided that they're natural (maybe even normal - but I'm hardly an authority on normal). I've reached the conclusion that although being a permanently disengaged parent is a Very Bad Thing, a little bit of disinterest in your baby every now and again can only be good for them.

Think about it: if we always thought our baby was God's gift to the world, even if all they do is sit and shit, they would feel well-loved, but would never have any reason to develop or change. Feeling loved is a very valuable thing, of course - that's why it's mummy's job to dote and love unconditionally, and have a much higher boredom threshold than daddy.

But even though daddy always thinks the sun shines out of his daughter, he quite honestly feels a bit of boredom watching her do the same couple of activities over and over again. He only gets a few hours a week with her, and he wants them to be fun, fresh, and exciting. Eventually, she will pick up on this, and will try something new: a new noise, a new action, a new skill, to try to rekindle his interest in her.

It's the ebb and flow of interest that keeps baby trying to develop and grow, to learn new skills, to remain shiny and interesting for mummy and daddy.

And I think that might be a good thing. Baby's relationship with mum is a passive, static thing: mummy is always there, always loving, and baby doesn't need to work to keep her. But daddy is coming and going, and his interest seems a little fickle from time to time. Daddy is baby's first active relationship, the first one not driven by biological imperative, the first one that requires work (on both sides) to maintain.

I don't want you to read this post and think that I only love Annie when she's demonstrating new skills. My love for her is also unconditional - I just sometimes find it easier to enjoy being with her when I know she's actively engaged in trying to entertain me, or when she's responding to my very active attempts to entertain and engage her.

And it cuts both ways: mummy is always good for baby to go to, but daddy can be a bit touch-and-go for baby. Daddy must be constantly refreshing his comedy routines, his dance repertoire, his silly voices, his cuddle techniques - in other words, daddy must develop as baby develops.

The constant dance between baby and daddy is an exhausting one of constant change, with each party desperately, endlessly, trying to please the other... and both growing in the process.

And I think it's a good thing... as long as I don't fall into the trope trap of becoming a father whose love is conditional upon success, and as long as this 'pressure' to develop doesn't come at the cost of Annie's happiness, or a fulfilling and satisfying relationship with her.

PS: I'm sure that similar principles apply to mothers, especially when boobs stop being a miracle solution to all problems... though I wouldn't presume to write about that (that's Katie's job).

"Show It Like It Is" Challenge

2010-11-20T14:33:00.004+11:00

Nicole over at Bubby Makes Three has issued a challenge to show your kitchen as it really looks right now. No cleaning up, no designer treatment. Reality is all its messy goodness and not magazine fake.

Funny thing is though- I looked at my own kitchen, just after lunch on a Saturday afternoon, and it doesn't look too bad. I say this as someone who usually has a much worse kitchen!

Fry-pan still out from dinner last night, next to the Breville from lunch. Tupperware galore drying up and my new Chai on the counter... yum! I also have uber cheap apples and pears to make a puree for Annie. Oh and an unpaid phone bill on the fridge.. oops!

Certainly wouldn't make it into a magazine... like ever... but it does the job!

Family Portrait

2010-11-02T16:02:00.003+11:00

We recently got some beautiful photos done by doula/ photographer Rachel Ford. She is building her photography portfolio, so we were lucky enough to get a session with her for free. I just got the pictures back today and am so thrilled with them. We finally have a good picture of Shane, Annie and me.

I can see how much Miss Annie is becoming her Daddy's girl!

Shane is away in Sydney tonight, it is the first time ever he has left me. I am usually the traveler, off visiting family, leaving Shane at home. I don't think I care for this being left business. It is so lonely and scary not having him here to talk to- the house just feels different. Oh well, at least he'll be home tomorrow and I can fill my evening with bad TV!

All Men are Fiends

2010-11-01T08:40:00.010+11:00

Hi everyone! As promised, I will be invading Katie's blog from time to time, to add a bit of colour, volume or bounce to the fray. I have decided not to bother with an introductory post, and will instead launch directly into a Big Issue.

All men are sex fiends. A danger to society. Out to get your children.

Well, really, that's not entirely true... but it is a common and persistent fear in the hearts and minds of all parents (not just mothers) whenever a man is interacting with their children.

I've been reading a lot of news articles and blogs recently about this issue. About how men are being dissuaded from becoming primary school teachers for fear of being labelled as harbouring an unhealthy interest in small children, about how men are hesitant to even reach out and grab a strange child who's about to wander into oncoming traffic for fear of being labelled a paedophilic kidnapper.

http://www.news.com.au/opinion/miranda-devine-asks-why-are-all-men-made-to-feel-like-fiends/story-e6frfs99-1225944489870

I read this article on the day Katie asked me to start contributing to her blog, and I decided that I would write about it. I found this article particularly powerfully written, as it tapped into a lot of the fears that I have.

In the UK , a notorious case a few years ago highlighted the dilemma men are finding themselves in when a truck driver saw a two-year-old girl wandering alone along a village road but decided against stopping to see if she was OK for fear of being accused of bad intentions.
The child drowned in a pond and the poor man has to live with the crushing guilt.

The proliferation of crime TV such as Law and Order: SVU is not entirely to blame, but it must take its share of responsibility for this. Like no generation before, it is becoming increasingly clear just how dangerous the outside world is for small children, and how increasingly difficult it is becoming to protect them from perversion in all its guises.

The recent-ish trend towards a more involved fatherhood base means that there are more men than ever at playgrounds, playgroups, and school events. However, rather than diminish the perception that these men are predators, this trend seems to have has the opposite effect, making everyone even more alert than ever, constantly vigilant, on watch. And it's not just the mothers - it doesn't take a huge leap of the imagination to picture a father defending his daughter with equal vitriole.

Or it may even be that there isn't a greater state of alertness, but men feel as if there is. They constantly manage themselves, ensuring that each action, each word, won't lead people to reach any unfavourable conclusions about them. (I guess this is a normal part of social life, but it seems considerably amplified when it comes to relationships with children)

A while ago, Katie suggested to me that I become a primary school teacher. The idea had immediate appeal to me: I love hanging out with kids, chatting with them, and I like to think I would be a decent (and rare) male role model for the kids in my class. Of course, I have no inappropriate intentions; I simply think it would be an intensely rewarding career change for me.

Later that week, a single article in the newspaper made me have second thoughts. The simple notion that a man who becomes a primary school teacher must have foul intentions is a widespread perception (even if it isn't a conscious one), and parents are wary of any and all male primary school teachers. (Note that this is a perception reported by male teachers, and may or may not reflect the actual reality of the situation. However, it is very telling that this is how they feel they are being observed as they go about their daily job)

And children are perceptive; they pick up on all this. If a twelve year old kid wants to get his teacher into trouble, all he has to do is say that Mr Walsh-Smith touched him, and Bang! Instant suspension, instant pariah, no questions asked. Even if the teacher is eventually cleared, the stress and character stain of the event, I think, would probably never wear off entirely.

I'm not saying that this is a likely event, or that children routinely lodge false allegations, or even that the system should be changed. I am merely lamenting the fact that men are presumed guilty unless they can vindicate themselves, and am not at all surprised that most educated men opt for 'safer' careers than this.

I can picture becoming a teacher now. Offering a friendly smile to the kids as they come into the classroom in the morning, noticing the suspicious eyes of the mothers as they farewell their kids and notice my smile.

Maybe they know something I don't. Maybe I really am a ticking time bomb of depravity.

I think it's far more likely though that I possess a parental instinct, an interest in the development of children.

It is a character trait that is lauded and elevated in circles of women, but feared and suspected when exhibited by a man.

In the case of that truck driver and poor drowned little girl, you have to wonder if it's all gone a bit too far.

And yet, even while lamenting this, I know I'll be on full alert when Annie starts to frequent playgrounds. Because where your kids are concerned, it is far better to assume that all men are fiends. And the friendlier, the fiendier. Any alternative is just too unthinkable.

Elba and Lah

2010-10-30T13:50:00.002+11:00

Miss Annie is quite vocal at the moment, though doesn't like to restrict herself to the English Language. She has created new names for Shane and me. I am Elba and Shane is Lah. Oh and Barkley is Baa. Cutest names ever.

A Spot Of Gardening

2010-10-30T13:30:00.000+11:00

We are having a particularly challenging time with Miss Annie at the moment as her teething has her so unsettled and her sleeping 'patterns' are completely out the window. To add insult to injury we are feeling the beginnings of a spring cold- Annie included.

All that said I am particularly proud of my garden recently. I have never been a gardener, and have worried about my ability to nurture when I've been challenged keeping gold-fish alive. It probably doesn't help I always pick the "sad looking one" as it most needs a home. Plants also tend to die- just to spite me- though Shane has some strange theory about them needing water.

So I decided our little back garden needed some colour, and my mother-in-law suggested roses as apparently being difficult to kill. She does know me. I went even further out on a limb and added pansies- to stand guard over my roses and against my attempts at floricide.

I planted all the pretties in sandstone pots around the observatory windows- partly for the aesthetic effect and partly so they could remind me to water them as I sit at the dining room table.

And look- its been a couple of months and they are flourishing! I am yet to stake them properly, but they seem to get enough water. I think Shane sneaks out to water them as well!

Annie Goes To Work

2010-10-24T23:08:00.000+11:00

Annie and I have a new job! It is at Brindabella Baby, a tiny little baby store specialising in cloth nappies and baby Carriers. All their stock aims to be environmentally sustainable, with lots of great fair trade and organic products.

We now work there Wednesdays and Fridays and did our first full day last Friday. It was a lovely, sunny day, and Annie enjoyed napping outside under the shop awning in her stroller. I think I am really going to enjoy working there as I get to talk cloth nappies and babies as much as I want!

Here is Annie all dressed up ready for her first day of work:

Annie: So Mummy. I've just been thinking- how can I go to work? I am too small to reach the counter, and I am not quite sure I can count yet.

Annie: And what about my toys, they are all here at home- they will get lonely without me.

Annie: And..Oh My Goodness! What if Barkley EATS Penny Potamus while we are out?!

Mummy: It's ok Annie-Boo, you just get to come with Mummy and chill out on your play mat. You can bring your toys and I promise I won't make you do too much work. And Barkley dog can't get into your room, remember?

Annie: AHH, Of course. Silly me.

Annie: OK, let's go to work, Mummy!

Blogging

2010-10-24T08:20:00.008+11:00

I have been doing some thinking about my blog, feeling incredibly guilty about just how little time I have had for it lately. I have honestly had moments thinking that it would be easier to give it up altogether, for all the attention I can give it. This led me to reflect on why I started this blog in the first place and why I continue.

I have always been terrible at keeping a diary. I love the fresh clean pages of a new journal- just begging to be filled with stories and thoughts. I would begin my new diary in earnest, writing every day before I'd inevitably let it slip. One day forgetting to write here, a week there and before I knew it- months would have passed and I'd be so frustrated that I'd put the diary away until the next big life event would drive me to find a shiny new book to begin the cycle again. I actually have a box of diaries, most with little more than a quarter written in.

I began reading various mummy blogs online and thought that a blog would be easier to keep up with- just post a little story or new photo and presto- a story of our life. I started this blog originally to chronicle our little family as we welcomed out first baby, to have a real record of her growth and new experiences. What I didn't realise is that having said small infant, one has a lot less time than imagined. Especially now she is so active, and I am so rushed even trying to keep up with the washing!

I also like to blog so that familiy can keep in touch with Annie, especially her Granddad interstate. I love that we can have our weekly phone call, and he has already seen pictures of the stories I tell.

Another point of reflection with my blog has been the creative outlet it provides. I have not written anything at all since university, and nothing really creative since high-school (though I guess some of those philosophy essays were pretty creative if I hadn't done the reading!) I fear that sometimes I sometimes think I can actually feel my brain turn to mush- I try to hold an adult conversation and lose my train of thought, or struggle to find the right word. Perhaps this is just normal nappy brain- but maybe it is my brain forgetting skills it isn't using.

The upcoming Australian Blogger's Conference caught my eye and I have got my ticket ready to go. I want to learn new skills so I have the best chance of doing a decent job with my blog. Most of all, I am so excited to meet some of the other mummy bloggers that I read every day and feel I already know. Just like seeing old friends I haven't met yet. This is proving to be a great motivation to revive my sad neglected blog and make sure it receives the attention it deserves.

So what to do? I have been thinking of re-jigging the way I blog a little, and bringing my wonderful husband, Shane on board. He is a very talented writer (he did study creative writing) and pushes me to put more effort into my writing. I guess I am being a little lazy and simply bringing in someone else to blame if blogging doesn't happen, but I think it would improve the blog overall, and be a lovely multi-perspective insight into our family life.

So here goes another resolution to journal- I imagine all the shiny new posts that will hopefully come out of my renewed effort!

Annie On The Grass

2010-10-03T17:43:00.003+11:00

It was such beautiful weather when we visited Floriade that we sat on the grass and enjoyed the warm spring sun. I could feel my spirits lifting just being outside, almost like coming out of a winter hibernation. I realised that Annie has never actually sat on grass before, as it has been much too cold. I think she enjoyed it- quite the little poser!

Floriade

2010-10-03T17:35:00.000+11:00

Floriade is one of Canberra's biggest tourist events. Its a flower festival set right next to the lake and it's absolutely spectacular. We went a little over a week ago, when my good friend Clare visited for the day. I was so excited at seeing my dear friend Clare and taking Annie to her first Floriade. We do have multiple trips planned though- everyone wants to take Annie and set her amongst the flowers for pictures!

In the morning Clare, her mum and grandparents all arrived at our place for morning tea. Pretending to be a good little housewife I had baked a jam slice and tidied up- no mean feat with Miss Annie at the moment- at one stage I did the floors with her on my hip and the phone balanced on my shoulder.

We then trekked into Floriade and battled for parking. In putting Annie into her pram for the outing I discovered that I had forgotten to bring her little hat. It was such a beautiful warm day, I didn't want her to get sunburned. So off Clare and I went to buy new hats for the three of us- as one does!

We visited the Petting Zoo. Annie met some lambs, baby goats, piglets, ducklings and even a calf. She was most excited about a bunny, and waved her arms about excitedly and then went for its eyes- we rescued it quickly!It was such a wonderful day just strolling around the flowers and catching up with my oldest friend. The flowers were just amazing, and the spring warmth and sunshine were out in force.

I also took some new pictures of Annie as she sat on the grass for the first time ever! Will share those later.

Shopping In The Pantry

2010-09-22T07:44:00.000+10:00

Any new parent knows that money becomes tight with a little one. I have been working a lot less since having Annie, but we have many more expenses. Groceries were a massive component of our budget, and seemed huge for just us. We discovered that often we would decide what we wanted for dinner and then look in the freezer or pantry. If we didn't have one of the necessary ingredients we would "just pop to the supermarket". A basketful of impulse buys later we would head home poorer to make dinner.

These days there is no such thing as a quick trip to the shops with Annie, and I just couldn't be bothered, to be honest. Instead of shopping at least four times a week for 'a few' things, we are challenging ourselves to one shop of basics and then eating from the pantry and freezer. I do have a beautifully stocked up pantry of basics, and having my lovely labeled Tupperware makes me want to cook. Yes I am very OCD with my pantry.

I am proud to say that our grocery bill has been cut drastically by cooking from the pantry weeks, as well as some creative cooking.

"Rataweek" is an amazing way to up our vege intake and spend very little money. We head to the farmers markets for a bunch of fresh organic vegetables. We always have Cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, cabbage, zucchini, and sometimes eggplant. We steam it all up and have a basic meat and veg dinner. The next night we take the leftover veges and make a very basic ratatouille. We throw them all in a huge pot with some fresh cooked mushrooms, onions, canned tomato and tomato soup. This meal will often last us both a couple of meals and then if there is still a heap we add some pasta, mince, top it with cheese and make "Ratabake".

I think we have then dragged the dish out as long as it possibly can survive and we give the rest to the dog!

Annie's First Artwork

2010-09-20T07:51:00.000+10:00

I have been meaning to write about Fathers Day for a while. As well as being a special milestone for Shane (his very first father's day), Annie got in on the act of special new achievements.

Annie had prepared a very special present for Daddy- her first ever artwork! I bought a canvas, some non-toxic finger paint, stripped her off and let her go wild! I thought it would be nice if Shane got her first art, as he is so artistic and creative, and I am sure this will link them both.

Here is the result:

I think it is brilliant, and think it rivals much of what we see in the abstract art collection at The National Gallery. I'm not biased.

Modern Cloth Nappies

2010-09-19T11:37:00.000+10:00

Much in the vain of becoming an accidental attachment parent- I have also found myself to be a self-confessed "clothie". I have discovered the wonder that are Modern Cloth Nappies. For those unfamiliar with this very confusing world an MCN is basically a cloth nappy like an old terry toweling flat, but shaped much like a disposable and just as easy to use.

The confusion comes when one begins to examine the copious variations and configurations available- basically whether you want the waterproof shell and nappy connected (an all-in-one) or separate (a fitted nappy with a cover). The different ways they are padded then effect what they are called such as a pocket nappy or one with snap-in boosters. You can even get nappies that are sized or One Size Fits Most where the one nappy can be adapted from birth to toilet training!

They are also made of a variety of materials- including lushious bamboo, organic cotton and hemp. They more often than not have a waterproof shell of PUL (pulyurethane laminate) or cute, fluffy minky fabric.

I dd investigate MCN options when I was pregnant, but was discouraged by
a) the start up cost: the initial outlay can be hundreds of dollars to have enough nappies to not wash every day- something I thought important with a newborn.

b) The ridiculous amount of options. I was overwhelmed by all the jargon and the differing opinions of the best system. I kept recieveing the advice to "buy a few different ones and see what works. Every baby is different." This idea was ludecrous to me as I wasn't about to throw away money just to try something- we don't have that luxury.

When Annie was about three months old I decided to give these nappies another go, after seeing just how many disposables we were going through. I ventured into Brindabella Baby- an amazing local store- and purchased just two nappies to try. I tried Monk N Bears, very cute One Size Fits Most nappies made by a local Canberra mum. I reasoned that I could sell them on if I didn't like them....

I was hooked.

They just loooked so cute on Annie and really weren't much more work. I loved the feeling that each nappy change was saving a disposable. I have slowly, slowly built up my stash and added some Cushie Tushies (they are ok, but we will probably sell them on as they pill badly) and some fitted Itti Bittis (lovely, but not as great for our budget as they are sized and rather expensive).
I have also added a Baby Behind Bamboo Fitted and PUL cover to try for nights.

I do love my MCNs and now that Annie is in them full-time have found it to be a very easy, workable system. I worried about the extra washing, but they can be put into a dry nappy pail until wash day, all thrown on together and just hung on a clothes horse in Annie's room.

The whole MCN world is a little daunting, and some people are a tad scary with their obsession, but I enjoy pottering along making our own little difference and saving money.

Accidental Attatchment Parents

2010-09-18T19:11:00.001+10:00

The list of things we would never do with our baby was long. She was never going to see a TV and she would sleep through the night in her own bed. She would never have a dirty face or wear mismatched clothes.

This list is now an amusing indication of our unrealistic and naive perceptions pre-baby. Most expectant parents have these lists, but often then watch the items become crossed off as exhaustion or even reality kick in! Our parenting style has kind of evolved into what is known as "natural" or "attachment" parenting, which occurred when we relaxed and got rid of our pre-conceived expectations of Annie.

From the day Annie was born, she has had her agenda. She know what she wants and that she wants it now. I guess we were pretty laid back for first time parents and let her dictate the rhythm of things. We knew we would never be strict adherents to a rigid routine and kind of went with her needs as she needed them. This has worked for us. We simply tried to follow our instincts as to what we needed to do.

We knew it felt right to have her always near so we kept her close. We could see she wasn't settling in her own bed so (almost out of desperation) let her sleep with me, and this worked. So we became co-sleepers. We mostly carry her in a sling or carrier as it is easier while out and about, and she is much more settled while being held close. Now we were baby-wearers.

When looking for an activity to get us out of the house, we found Alice and baby massage- and this has been a god-send. Alice encouraged me to trust my instincts, and the confidence I gained that I know what is best for Annie was phenomenal. We just love Alice to bits, and appreciate all her wisdom.

I examined what we do with Annie and found that many of the things we believe in are in line with the Attachment Parenting philosophy. While I had read a little about it before she was born, we never set out on our parenting journey determined to follow any particular ideas- we just set out and trusted our baby. Funnily enough this has led us to be what I call "accidental attachment parents!"

Our Annie is curious, intelligent, happy and thriving and the support we have received regarding our choices has been wonderful. We are so pleased with her progress and are elated that our style seems to work for our little one.

Hats

2010-09-18T19:10:00.000+10:00

Mummy likes me in hats.

She says I need them in the cold Canberra Winter weather, but I think she makes me wear a hat because I look cute. Though sometimes it seems the weirder the hat is the better.

The indignities of being a baby.

7 months (And four days!)

2010-09-17T14:59:00.000+10:00

So... I haven't really written lately. Rest assured I still lurk around these parts, reading my favorite blogs, (you are a busy lot, aren't you?!) but have very little time to write these days. I know, bad Katie!

Though I do have the slight excuse of an ever more mobile child! Miss Annie was 7 months old on Monday, and has grown and changed so much- so quickly! Here are some of our new developments:

Eating: We began solids just before 6 months, but Annie was never keen on puree at all. I tried numerous yummy concoctions, but to no avail. I could sometimes trick her into eating by placing a little puree on the spoon and giving it to her- she would then put it in her mouth herself! (I don't know where she got this fiercely independent streak! :P)
Despite this, she remained very excited about food and would grab at any passing morsel of mine and shove it in her mouth. I tentatively tried 'baby-led solids' where I place clutchable bits of food in front of her and let her feed herself- worked a treat. Annie just loves feeding herself, and will eat anything- gumming it into submission!

"I don't think I can eat my hippo, Mummy"

Crawling- Our girl can crawl! Albeit more a commando effort- we have lift-off! She is especially motivated by our keys, and will grunt towards them every -time.

Standing- As always, Annie prefers to stand, and her leg strength is impressive. She can now hold herself up, balancing with the coffee table, and has even taken some supported steps. Though bobbing up and down on the spot is much more fun. She will be off cruising the furniture in no time.

"Just hanging around"

Kissing- As affectionate as ever, she has learned to kiss- big, open- mouth, sloppy kisses! Even better when they are all over my face!

Talking- Best of all, while in a big kissy fest, miss Annie said "Mum". Clear as anything about 5 times between kisses. And we got it on video.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE!

2010-08-30T09:22:00.003+10:00

To My Darling Shane,

Today we have been married for 2 years! It seems like it was forever ago that I walked down the aisle toward you- and started to cry, I was just so happy. I remember meeting you at the alter and how we grabbed each other in a huge hug of excitement. Already I look back and we seem so young- just a couple of kids- holding hands and jumping in.

So much has happened since we have been married - we now have our very own house, a Barkley dog and of course our Annie. I know that most of the time it is me that decides what our next milestone is, but you always make it happen. I get to entertain my big dreams such as "Let's buy a house", and "Let's have a baby"- and you do the sums and somehow we work it out.

I love that you let me be 'planny', but that we share the same life goals and philosophies. You and I are so well matched, you are my best friend and the one person I share everything with. I am so lucky to have found you and am so excited about having the rest of our lives together.

In lots of ways we have grown up together- to think I was just 18 when we met- but we still have so much fun together. Even though this adult thing is hard sometimes- not enough time together, not enough money, too many chores; I know we are so fortunate to be building such an awesome life together.
You make me laugh more than anyone, and thank heavens we married each other and saved the rest of the world from our sense of humour!

I love you Shane-Boy, My Love, My Pookie! Happy Anniversary!

Playing At The Park

2010-08-19T15:40:00.003+10:00

Last Friday to celebrate Miss Annie's 6month birthday I decided it was time for a couple of new milestones. She has never been to the little park at the end of our street, so we set off to meet Daddy's bus after work, which stops at the park.
She also rode in the stroller, sitting up like a big girl for the first time.
Douglas Bear came along for the ride.
Annie- Boo tried out the swing for the first time and even went on the slippery dip with Daddy. I think we will be there a fair bit in the future!

Annie's Hospital Drama

2010-08-19T14:49:00.002+10:00

It has been a crazy and very distressing week here. On the weekend I noticed that Annie was a little warm, but attributed it to teething and gave her some panadol. By Monday she had a persistant fever of over 39, and was just really listless and sleepy- not herself at all, so I panicked and took her to the hopsital. By the time we got to Emergency the Panadol had kicked and reduced her temperature to about 36. We then waited from about 1 in the afternoon until 8pm to see a doctor. They finally got us in because I demanded they check her temperature again, and it had indeed reached over 39 after the Panadol wore off.

It was an incredibly long night, with no sleep and an anxious wait for answers. After much mucking about trying to get a urine sample- she was diagnosed with a Urinary Tract Infection. The worst part was holding her down as they inserted a canula- especially as it turns out she has my terrible veins, and they had to keep trying and wiggling the needle again and again.

The incredibly bad nappies she had Monday morning also raised concerns about a bout of gastro, and she was also given fluids as well as antibiotics.

We were admitted to paediatrics after 9am, and waited to see the doctor again. He explained the numerous tests she would need to determine if her kidneys had been affected, and then discovered a heart murmur when examining Annie. An Echo, ECG and chest x-ray were added to the list of procedures.

On Tuesday night we reached 9.30pm without any sleep since Sunday night, and Annie was not settling. She refused to sleep in the cot they had set up, of course not used to sleeping away from me. A lovely night nurse found a big bed and bought it in for us and we got some much needed rest.

I woke at about 1am with Annie being moved over the bed for them to replace the canula, as it had tissued. I was so sleepy and confused, I could do nothing but helplessly stroke her hair as they tried both elbows, wrists and legs for a suitable vein. Again and again they failed, before deciding to wait until morning. I asked them to never do a procedure in bed with me again, as that is her safe place, snuggled with me and I don't want that violated.

By Wednesday Annie was much happier and alert, smiling and showing of her standing and bouncing for all the doctors. I asked if she could be given oral antibiotics instead of a drip, and they agreed. The UTI was responding well to the antibiotics, the fever was gone and the gastro had cleared up.

We had a great surprise yesterday afternoon (Wednesday) when they said we could take her home. She still has 10 days of antibiotics to go and an appointment with the Paediatric Cardiologist tomorrow morning to investigate the heart murmur.

I'm so happy for the attachment Annie has to me now - luckily I was able to stay with her the whole time. Her trust in me actually broke my heart - as she would reach out to me while they were doing painful procedures on her. They kept saying I could leave her, which seems ridiculous, and certainly wouldn't have helped the stress level for either of us! I did lots of reassuring 'mummy massage strokes' and we never put her down, and I think it helped her a lot.

It seems silly, but this experience has made us so acutely aware of how lucky we are to have Annie and really appreciate what an amazing little miracle our "Smoosh" is.

6 Months!

2010-08-13T08:55:00.000+10:00

Letter to Annie at 6 months old.

To Our darling girl,

Today you are six months old! I can't believe it. I remember back to when I was pregnant, seeing babies as big as you are now and thinking it was forever away. That by the time you were this age I'd be a pro at the mummy thing!

I think we have the hang of what we are doing, though you are constantly changing, learning and surprising me. You are very clever at rolling now, rolling either way from tummy or back. You are trying hard to crawl- your legs seem to want to go, but your arms don't move, so you end up launching yourself face first from a crouching position. You can sit so well now, and love playing with your toes or practice passing your dummy from hand to hand- before you throw it!

You are so happy and smile all the time, chatting away to us and giggling. You just love Barkley dog, and squeel with excitement when you see him.

The only time you are really upset is if Mummy is away. You are starting to appreciate Daddy's sense of humour, but like him much more if Mummy is still around.

You will soon have some teeth- they are making your gummies so sore. You are being brave, but don't like it when they stop you sleeping.

Even when we have nights where we are awake more than asleep, I don't mind. I think we would do anything for you, Smoosh. We love you so much and are glad every day to have you.

Today, Sweet Angel we are off to baby massage then to visit Pop. You can have a rusk and some banana as a special half birthday meal!

National Breastfeeding Week

2010-08-12T08:50:00.000+10:00

Last week was World Breastfeeding Week. I volunteered to help put up a display in the library for our local ABA group. When we got there we discovered that Miss Annie and I are featured on one of the new posters.

It seems our little girl is a natural at modelling! :p

Vera

2010-08-11T18:10:00.000+10:00

Right now I am home alone. This is only the second time this has happened since Annie was born. I have to work in an hour and Shane has taken Annie to family dinner at the golf club. I got so excited that I could actually get something done in terms of the housework that I looked at all my tasks- ironing, dishes, vacuuming- but decided that as I don't have enough time to do all of them- I will just blog instead!

The most exciting thing to happen recently is the purchase of a new car! I am keeping my Mazda, Vegemite but we are replacing Shane's old Mirage with a safer car he can take Annie in. It is a 2004 VW Golf- named Vera. It is one if the newer ones (gen 5) and is uber safe. It even fits the pram and carseat easily. Best news is that it will extend Vegemites life a little, giving him respite as he edges towards 300000 Km.

We got a ridiculously good bargain, though it is sad to see the old Mirage go. It is the car we had our first date in, and went on our first road trip with. I would never have allowed Annie to ride in it though, as it crumpled when Shane kicked the side- killing a big scary spider who was terrorising us!

Vera will essentially be Shane's car, though as a Golf is actually my dream car- I will be driving her often. Right now her sound system is being re-christened with Bon-Jovi- who we are going to see (again) in December!

Lets see if I can get all my blogging done before I head to work.

Annie's Special Book

2010-08-11T18:03:00.006+10:00

When we decided to start trying for a family we wanted to have a special book to record the journey. We started a diary way back in February 2009 and have been writing letters to our baby ever since. Great entries include "Mummy is Pregnant" and of course "Welcome to the World Annie".

My favourite aspect are the letters we asked our close family and friends to write, both when I was pregnant and after Annie was born. These are such special entries, demonstrating the love and excitement of so many at the arrival of our little girl.

I know that so many children are 'accidental' children these days, and I wanted Annie to know how much she was desperately wanted and loved even before I became pregnant.

The book was to last until her first birthday, but is already full. It is so bulging with cards and photos that the spine was breaking, and we feared this special heirloom would be lost. So we had it professionally rebound and covered. The result is stunning:

Lounge Room Overhaul

2010-07-27T15:41:00.003+10:00

Last week I threw the same tantrum I have been throwing since we got Barkley- "I want my daybed back!"

This beautiful piece of furniture was to be my reading chair, placed in the family room next to my bookshelves where I envisioned myself curled up reading for hours. Forget the fact that wouldn't happen at all anymore with Annie- when Barkley arrived he decided it would make a great bed. After trying unsuccessfully to train him off it, I finally gave in and put a blanket over it, thus making the most luxurious and expensive dog bed in the world.

I once again became upset, eying off the dog stretched out on my daybed and threatened to put him outside in a kennel for good. Shane was adamant this was not an option and once again suggested it could be moved into the lounge room, away from Barkley. I honestly thought it would not fit in there, as all possible space was taken up, but agreed to try.

The result is brilliant! We totally swapped everything around, and the funny thing is adding more furniture makes the room feel bigger! It is much more livable now and we have used the lounge room more in the last week than we have in the past year.

First Foods

2010-07-27T15:16:00.003+10:00

This week we began introducing 'solid' foods to Annie. She is now 5 and a half months old and clearly hungry. She was waking every hour, sometimes 30 minutes for a feed through the night- and could not be satisfied.

We began with Farex- rice cereal, which really is disgusting stuff. Annie was clearly confused by the texture, but very interested in the idea of food. We have moved on to pureed banana- which she just loves! She tries to help hold the spoon, but when I won't let her feed herself (though, let's face it she couldn't make more mess than I was) she would face plant right into the food on the spoon!

She is improving even meal by meal at actually swallowing as opposed to letting it all just dribble out.

I am so excited to start cooking up yummy fruit and veges for her to try, and have my little Tupperware containers at the ready. I feel like a real mum putting the little name stickers onto snack containers and her sippy cup!

Jolly Jumping in July

2010-07-27T15:03:00.002+10:00

A little alliteration is always fun, don't you think?!

Anyways this month Miss Annie has been enjoying her Jolly Jumper. She absolutely loves it, and screams with delight. She is getting bolder and more enthusiastic in her bouncing, and I think it has made her stronger and a little more daring in general.

It is also helping with her clingyness. I started putting her in it and trying to walk around doing cleaning etc, but she would cry as soon as I left the room. She has started to enjoy it so much now, that I can duck to the laundry or kitchen and she is fine for about a whole minute, sometimes two!

Catching Up

2010-07-27T14:40:00.002+10:00

The term 'catching up' seems to be pervading my life more and more since having Annie. First it was catching up on sleep, then catching up with housework, then uni reading and if I was lucky catching up with friends.

The term conjures images of a treadmill, running in a desperate attempt to get ahead, but simply maintaining the status quo. While life can feel like this sometimes, it has made me realise the housework will always wait for me and I can spend my time doing important catching up- like reconnecting with Shane after he gets home from work.

Here I find that I have neglected my poor little blog and really should catch you up on whats been happening with us. Not too much that is groundbreaking, but some little milestones none the less.While Miss Annie is having a nap, I shall do a mini blog-athon- getting caught up on the pile of photos I have to post!

The Graduate

2010-07-16T22:42:00.004+10:00

So... things have been a little hectic here is our house this week. Miss Annie has a terrible cold and is teething. I also graduated university- yay!!

I now own a very expensive piece of paper that says I am qualified to... well not much actually, it is an Arts degree!

Yesterday I got all robed up and headed back to the ANU feeling very much like I should have a wand and a friend named Hagrid. It was very exciting to be finally finished what seems like the longest degree ever- though I was more than a touch sad to be done with uni.
Shane spoiled me rotten, buying me a very cute Grad bear with the blue ribbon for a Bachelor of Arts, which I have named Bart. He also gave me a new grad charm for my Pandora bracelet, and he purchased the professional photo of me getting my degree.

Annie was in a rotten mood, and screamed for the entire ceremony. She was taken outside by my mother in law, but I could still hear her occasionally from the front of the hall. I rushed to comfort her as soon as we processed out, and then she was fine. The worst nappy ever quickly brought me back to earth, and my current important job!
I am glad that Annie was there for my graduation though, as she will one day understand what a big milestone it was for me, and how special it was that she was there to share it. She'll hopefully see from my (continued) example that you can be a mum and achieve your own dreams and ambitions.

Out In Bathurst

2010-07-09T09:43:00.003+10:00

Annie and I spent Wednesday night in Bathurst, staying with my Aunty Helen. While there we visited my mum and I showed Annie some of my favourite spots around town, as it was her first time to the place I grew up.

Yesterday (Thursday) we headed over to my dear friend Clare's for a visit. Clare and I have been friends since kindergarten and despite not living close by, we can always pick up where we left off. She is the most genuine and down-to-earth person I know. It could be the farm girl in her, but Clare says it like it is. I have always admired her for knowing who she is and following her heart.
Aunty Clare is besotted with our Annie, and I am looking forward to her introducing 'Monkey' to all the delights of farm life. In fact while we were at Clare's, Annie met her first horses.
We went for a walk to go meet the cows when we heard steps behind us. It was Bubba Jangles the foal, following us and every time we'd turn around he would stop!
We began the drive back to Canberra at lunch time- a day earlier than originally planned. We missed Shane so much we just had to head home and surprise him. He was thrilled to have us back and we spent a lovely, quiet night together as a family.

We Miss Daddy!

2010-07-05T19:40:00.004+10:00

This has been a lovely trip away with Miss Annie and it has been great catching up with my Dad and showing Annie more of Scone. But we are really missing Shane!

I am glad for this blog while we are away, as it is great to have pictures of what Annie is up to so Shane can keep up-to-date. This is the whole reason that I blog; to keep a record of our family and Miss Annie's developments. Usually it is faraway friends and family that are able to keep in touch with her, but now it's her Daddy that is benefiting.
It will be wonderful to get home and spend a nice weekend together as a family.

All The Toys In The World...

2010-07-05T17:56:00.002+10:00

Miss Annie has so many beautiful toys. She has Penny Potamus:

Sophie le Giraffe

her Skwish

And she does love to play with all of them.

At the moment, though, her toes are the most amusing toys of all!

Funny Face

2010-07-04T16:47:00.004+10:00

Annie started making this face a few weeks ago- it's the cutest thing, and we just had to get it on camera.

Road Tripping

2010-07-04T11:34:00.004+10:00

On Friday morning Miss Annie and I got on the road ridiculously early to drive to Granddad's in Scone. We left at about 6.30am and didn't stop until 10.30am when we got to the Tuggerah Westfield, past Sydney. She slept almost the whole way and didn't grizzle once.
We both had some lunch and a good stretch before getting back on the freeway. I love the drive once you turn off the freeway towards Cessnock- beautiful Hunter Valley scenery and lots of vineyards. Miss Annie had another feed at Singleton before we arrived at Aberdeen at 2.30.

We went straight to dad's school where he was still in Parent-teacher meetings. So we walked around chatting to the other teachers, with everyone eager to meet "Mr Walsh's Grand-daughter!"

This morning we went to Mass where Annie was excitedly greeted by all the old folk who remembered when I was her age. I love the country community here, and that Annie is already a part of it, despite living away in Canberra.

Right now Annie is curled up on my lap while we watch My Neighbour Totoro, but will hopefully be up for a walk around the town when she wakes up.

The Week That Was

2010-07-03T11:14:00.005+10:00

I have been incredibly slack this week with my blog posts. The truth is, we have been very busy- with each day filled with activity. Here is a brief recap:

Monday:
I anticipated how busy the week would be when I checked my diary, realising I had triple booked myself! Shane stayed home to deal with the oven repair man and dog washer while Annie and I went to playgroup and coffee. I think Shane understands how important I find it to get out of the house and relax with other mums- it makes such a difference.

Tuesday:
I had a class all day for my Certificate IV, and Annie came with me. She was wonderfully behaved for the entire day and enjoyed being centre of attention more than she should have been.

Wednesday:
Desperately tried to get Bon Jovi tickets in the pre-sale. They were gone in under a minute! This happened last time they toured though we were eager enough to jump on ebay and get overpriced tickets so saw them in Melbourne. Not so much with the money this tine- but will try again next week in the general public sale.

This is the most exciting thing: We went to baby massage where our teacher, the lovely Alice was interviewed by Win news. Miss Annie was blissed out enjoying her massage as usual so the film crew focused on her for the class shots. She appeared on the news Wednesday night, and we will soon have a DVD of it ordered from the network. Of course there were many jokes about her television debut and the little diva we may soon have!

I also attended a meeting, signing up to do my certificate in Breastfeeding Education through the Australian Breastfeeding Association.

Thursday:
Grocery shopping. Bleurgh.
Also had a doctor's appointment- I had an allergic reaction to my new face moisturiser, and have also developed eczema. Turns out I should use nothing but sorbolene on my skin. Shane got to do his 'told you so' dance as he has long argued that women have just been brainwashed by cosmetics companies into using so many products. I guess we will save a fortune now!

Friday:
Miss Annie and I were up at 5.30am and jumped into an already packed car to head to Scone. I was nervous as it was the first road trip for Annie and I without Shane and only her second ever. It was fine though, and i enjoyed the novelty of playing her kid's music for the drive. We both crashed into bed exhausted.

Saturday:
Today has been a much needed rest day here, with lots of napping (Annie) and laptop time (me!). We headed out to get groceries to cook dinner- dad's pantry very much lives up to it's bachelor status, and Annie is asleep on my lap again while I catch up on pay TV- the novelty will wear off soon and I will remember that we really don't need it at home.

So that was our week. Let's not leave it so long before we talk again, ok?

Annie's Bumbo

2010-06-25T14:20:00.003+10:00

Annie has a Bumbo. Her granddad bought it for her, and she just loves to sit in it. It's understandable that this would be a fresh change for her, as she was mostly laying before- either on her play-mat, or in her swing. In her Bumbo she can look around and interact more with the world.
This was the first time she tried out her seat at home, and she quickly discovered there is a window in our lounge room with things to see outside.
She kept turning around to try and see out, so I moved the Bumbo so she could enjoy the view (of our weedy lavender garden, but what the hey).
This was awesome for a long time, in fact much longer than I thought she would last. She did have to keep checking I was still close by, though!

Best Birthday Ever!

2010-06-25T12:44:00.004+10:00

Yesterday (June 24) was my 23rd Birthday. It was a wonderful day, made so special by the effort my darling Shane put into planning it.

Shane had planned the whole day, and I knew nothing about what we were to do. At about 9.30am my mother in law arrived and took Miss Annie to her place, and Shane took me to our living room where there was a beautiful bunch of flowers.

He turned on the TV to reveal a DVD recording of Wicked, that he'd found. I had wanted to go to see Wicked again ( I saw it in New York in 2008), but knew that would be difficult with Annie, as we'd have to travel to Sydney. This was even better though. We snuggled under the doona and watched it, complete with popcorn!
At intermission I got my presents which had been themed to tie in with Wicked. There was a "Naughty" and "Nice" box.
I got an ipod with all the related paraphanalia, so I can even play my ipod in the car. Of course Shane had already loaded it with a few CDs I have been wanting for a while.

After lunch I we went to get Annie and came home to prepare for my Birthday dinner party. Shane wouldn't let me cook or help, so Annie and I hung out before she fell asleep in the sling- waiting for the party just proved to difficult!
I had a lovely relaxed dinner with Glenn and Tamie (Shane's Brother and his girlfriend), my MIL and our friends Kirsten, Ash and of course, little Ollie. It was also the time spent with many of the people I love that made it a really lovely, special day.
My presents showed just how well Shane knows me, and the effort he made to give me a great day was sweet. It may not have been a fancy or expensive day, but it really was as romantic and thoughtful as it used to be pre-Annie. Except now, I had her to celebrate with me as well, which was even better!

Playtime Is Exhausting

2010-06-23T10:17:00.003+10:00

Annie crashed out after reading some stories and playing with her new Sophie le Giraffe.

She woke up after about half an hour, rolled onto her tummy and grabbed hold of Penny Potamus, before promptly going back to sleep.

Too Cute!

Bad Mummy Moment

2010-06-22T15:59:00.003+10:00

On Monday, Miss Annie tried out her new baby bouncer- like a jolly jumper. I hooked it all up and re-checked the instructions before strapping her in. She didn't quite know what to do so I bounced her up and down a few times and she loved it, giggling and flapping her arms. I let go of her legs to let her bounce herself. She hung there for a second and then...

the velcro side flaps burst open and she face planted into the tiles.

I grabbed her immediatley to comfort her- but she was inconsolable. As was I, blubbering and apologising to her. I could see a bruise forming already, so grabbed the phone and called Shane at work. He asked if I was ok, and through sobs said "No...Annie fell". As he could hear Annie screaming as well, it's amazing he managed to understand the message; "I'm picking you up on the way to the hospital".

Poor Shane left work immediately and called saying he was taking a bus, that he would meet us there. Annie and I drove in almost record time to Canberra Hospital Emergency Department, with her now sobbing sadly in her seat and tears streaming down my face.

By the time we arrived, Annie was totally fine, even smiling and cooing at the triage nurse. We were taken to Paediatrics after a couple of hours and she was checked over and monitored for concussion- but was given the all clear, and we headed home after about four hours at the hospital.

We didn't really need to go to the hospital, but of course my mind immediately thought of worst case scenarios such as concussion or a fractured skull.

Here is a mug shot of her yesterday, with the little bruise of her forehead.

I realise that children will have accidents, but for her first one to be on my watch was devastating. I kept thinking of anything I could have done to prevent her getting hurt, and worrying that she would be permanently traumatised somehow.

I am also so grateful to Shane for remaining calm and just giving me a hug when I rocked up to the hospital crying; "I'm sorry I broke the baby!"

She is totally fine now, of course, but we will probably wait a long time before any more bouncing adventures!

Annie's Baptism

2010-06-20T17:53:00.003+10:00

Today we had Miss Annie Baptised. It was such a beautiful day with so many people there to support her. She was pretty good for the most part, sleeping until the Priest poured the water over her head.

She was also really happy to be passed around to everyone at the lovely lunch my mother in law hosted. Will post more later but here are some pictures for now.

Baby Massage

2010-06-15T09:10:00.000+10:00

Annie and I have been attending a baby massage class Friday mornings for the last five weeks. Annie just loves her massage, and relaxes instantly, with her little arms flopping to her sides and giving a blissed out grin.

I've just loved knowing how to give Annie a proper massage, and have found it so helpful at times. We use one on her tummy that relieves her painful wind immediately- it's so good to be able to actually help her when she is uncomfortable.

Last week was the last week of the course, and we took Shane along with us for the course re-cap, so he can learn the strokes and get in on the act.

When we were doing the back massage, Annie was all smiles and couldn't stop staring at her BFF Ollie.

Doesn't she look happy?!

Nicknames

2010-06-14T08:50:00.001+10:00

I always wanted a nickname growing up. Sure I had affectionate pet names that my parents called me such as Chook, Sunshine, Katie-Pies and names friends came up with such as Eggy...

But I wanted that all defining nickname that everyone knows you by. I really don't know why, now though.

Annie has already started collected nicknames from many of the people who love her.

While I was pregnant she was Bunny (BUNny in the oven!)

Smoosh is now her most common nickname- I called her this as she was just so round and 'smooshed' up when she was born. This has morphed into Smooshy, Smooshy- Smoosherson and Smoosherella.

She gets Annie-Girl from her daddy.

And Beautimus from her God-Mum Jess.

She gets Monkey from her Aunty Clare,

And sometimes she gets Bum-Bags, (courtesy of her Grandma) or even...

Annie!

Date Night

2010-06-14T08:50:00.000+10:00

Shane and I had our first time together without Annie on Saturday night- well, first since she was born anyways!

It was wonderful. Shane's mum took care of her and we headed out to see "Mother and Child" as I was lucky enough to win free tickets. We had lollies and chocolate freckles stashed in my bag and a huge bottle of water so that kept it a very cheap date!

As we walked to Manuka cinema, a wedding was just ending at the Cathedral, so we stopped to check out the happy couple. We (I) gushed at the beautiful bride, and remembered our wedding day- and time before when we were first dating.

And it was just like that time; we held hands, strolling along, chatting and laughing. We could pop into the book store and browse at our leisure, though I did find myself in the kid's books looking for something for Annie.

Having time to just be with each other was so needed, and it all came back to us very quickly; the easy talking and flirting. While we are fine together with Annie, the novelty of not watching over her, even for a few hours was a lot of fun. I'd forgotten how easy it is to just grab keys and bag and go!

Even though we were having such a nice time, at the end if the film we both agreed that we would skip coffee and head straight to pick up our baby girl- we missed her like crazy! Especially after such a heart-wrenching movie. See it- such a good film!

Four Months Old!

2010-06-13T21:59:00.003+10:00

Miss Annie is exactly four months old today! We had a nice morning at mass, then home all day doing chores- not so much with the exciting. My dad came to visit tonight though and we had a lovely family dinner of risotto and apple crumble with him and Shane's mum.

Annie is a little miserable with what we are sure is teething- and has finally exhausted herself and fallen asleep. I hate seeing her so upset, though I guess I am lucky that this is very unusual for her!

She has, however, discovered Barkley and thinks he is hilarious. I held her above his back like she was riding him (I know, I'm terrible) and she giggled, grabbing his ears. He was so good with her, not moving, and letting her tug at him. I am glad they will be able to play together.

Tomorrow is a public holiday, so it will be great to have Shane home from work, before a busy week of preparing for Annie's baptism next weekend. So excited to see all our family and friends- so many people are making a huge effort to be here for her big day- I can't wait!

Sitting

2010-06-11T20:00:00.003+10:00

Annie has recently learned to sit up. She can actually hold herself up for a little while, she is so strong! She loves to be held in a sitting position, watching everything around her.
Here she is watching Daddy in the kitchen. The light was awful, sorry, but the picture was just sooo cute. She reminds me of a little baby monkey... which is one of her many nicknames!

The Little Things: Our View

2010-06-11T19:39:00.003+10:00

This is my very first installment of The Little Things, where I will try to post on something that makes me smile, something I should be thankful for and appreciate in the moment. They are kinda like my roses- and I'm taking the time to smell them!

OK...moving on...

I love the view west from our front verandah. It looks across the street to the paddocks that side our estate, and we can see the hills beyond.

I love seeing the different greens that change throughout the year, and a sunset over the hills is just magnificent! There are cows and horses in the paddocks, which you can even hear from our place- just like being in the country again. There are walking paths down there, away from the houses, and a couple of lovely little lakes.

(Our Verandah)

We are so lucky that we are only 2 minutes to the local shops, 10 to the Westfields Shopping Centre and 20 minutes from the centre of Canberra- and can have such a lovely natural vista!

A New Direction: The Little Things

2010-06-11T19:16:00.003+10:00

After my post about finishing uni, it struck me once again how I really do have an awful habit of constantly looking forward to the future, and making plans and dreaming big. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I worry that I am often not present enough in the moment, and appreciating the here and now.

I am determined to appreciate this time with Annie, and have decided to make a real effort to enjoy whatever it is that I am doing RIGHT NOW. While I don't think I will ever stop looking ahead, imagining future adventures or decorating our future house in my head, I will be sure that I have enjoyed the little things.

Afterall, that is how this blog was started- to keep a record of our family's adventures and share Annie's little milestones. I know her Granddad reads every post to see what she is up to- and he is a man who can barely work a mobile phone!

It may sound silly, but after having Annie I have re-evaluated what is really important, and so often it is just the little things as opposed to stressing about maintaining some image. I feel like I am being changed, and becoming happier in general. I really want to make sure that I remember and appreciate these little things that make me smile and record them for a future pick-me-up!

I know, I am being incredibly sappy...sorry... but I have been thinking about this a lot this week and also what I want to do with this blog..and voila- a new direction!

So my plan is to continue to share all that is our Beautiful Annie, as well as other blessings I find in our life. I will make a concerted effort to include The Little Things, the genuine bits of happiness I find along the way.

Good Bye University

2010-06-09T09:25:00.003+10:00

Yesterday I handed in the last essay of my degree. I filled out the familiar cover sheet, and was surprised by the mixed feelings I had.

On one hand, I am thrilled to be done- to graduate and move on to new and exciting things. I get to enjoy being totally with Annie, before getting a grown up job.

The other side of my mixed feeling involved a little pang that I perhaps didn't get all I could out of my time at uni. I moved straight to Canberra after high-school, and started at The University of Canberra in 2006. I met Shane in the June, just 5 months later. At the beginning of 2007 I moved to The Australian National University, and Shane and I rented our first place together. Christmas Eve 2007 we got engaged, and were married in August 2008.

Things may have calmed down a little, but we then we found the perfect little house- and amazingly could swing the deposit, so we moved into our first very own home in November 2008, got a puppy and thought- what the hey, let's have a baby.

While in so many ways my life has been charging ahead at full pace, with so many exciting wonderful things happening, I was still trudging through my degree- just wishing it would be done. I was always looking ahead, without enjoying what I was doing. So often my paid work took top priority- after all we were saving for a house, and I even found myself working 6 jobs at one stage!

I managed to get a distincton average despite not attending many lectures, but haven't once been to the uni bar, or to a live music gig or just sat on the grass discussing philosophy as I thought I would. I see the student rallies in Union Court and have no clue what they are protesting, and didn't get to go study abroad as I'd always imagined.

My lack of appreciating uni is nobody's fault but my own, and my silly habit of getting too ahead of myself. I am glad I feel this regret now, at the beginning of my year with Annie so I don't make the same mistake with her. I am determined to enjoy every part of being a mum to her, and appreciate all the little things. I will party on down at playgroup and do mummy coffee mornings like a pro. I will even enjoy the days I get to do loads and loads of washing!

And while I do this, I will stay in touch with friends still studying, and be glad I never have to the frantic all-night essay cram, and can just go to the park with my little girl.

Annie Laughs

2010-06-07T09:10:00.000+10:00

Thanks do my darling Shane's technical assistance I have for you a video of Miss Annie laughing.

This was filmed when we were getting her ready for her bath- she thought tummy kisses were just hilarious!

At 3 and a half months old she is really showing her funny little personality- so happy and sweet.

Out With Ollie

2010-06-04T19:40:00.000+10:00

Today Miss Annie and I met Kirsten and Oliver for coffee. We met little Ollie and his lovely mum at the baby massage class we go to on Friday mornings (more about that later!).
Kirsten and I get along wonderfully, and have decided that Ollie and Annie will just have to get married- in a few years of course! They do seem to be quite taken with each other.
We sat them facing each other and they reached out to touch each other. It is awesome to see Annie interacting with another baby and beginning those very early social skills.
But then its back to Mummy...
and darling Ollie is left behind!

Musical Beds

2010-06-02T11:02:00.000+10:00

Little Annie has been in our room since she was born. At first she slept in her beautiful cane bassinet, and then came into bed after about 5am when she had her feed. That's right, I would put her to bed and not hear from her until 5am. Times have changed!

Annie is feeding more and more often of a night- sometimes every two hours like clock-work. I believe it is because I committed the cardinal mummy sin and boasted about her previously wonderful sleeping... Karma sucks!

As a result she has pretty much moved into bed with me from the beginning of the night, and poor Shane has been evicted to the guest room. Well truthfully he is still worried about rolling on her and refuses to sleep in the same bed.

In my sleep deprived haze I decided that all would be better if she just went to her own cot in her own room. Remember that beautiful nursery we set up that is now just sitting there?
I wanted her to get used to spending time in there before sleep- so we moved playtime to her bedroom floor.
Annie: "Mummy, I don't think I like what you are planning"

I then tried having her nap times in her cot:
But she got so upset she turned herself around.

I persevered and put her in her cot at bedtime, after a bath and feed. And she actually slept! I on the other hand was so worried I wouldn't hear her that I ended up on her floor both nights- no sleep for me!

Then she had her immunisations and I wanted to keep an eye on her- so back into our bed she came. And stayed.
"Ahh yes, Sheridan. Great thread count"

"This will be much more suitable. Thanks Mum"

I actually like having Annie in our bed- particularly with her regular feeding. It means we are both getting more sleep. That said, I worry I am making it harder on myself for when I want her to go to her own room.

Oh well... I'm sure she will be out of our room by the time she wants to sneak out with her friends!

Monty the German Bunny

2010-06-01T10:58:00.000+10:00

Annie has a new favourite friend. Meet Monty. Annie and I were out shopping a couple of weeks ago and I was showing her various toys, trying to get a reaction. When I showed her this bunny she actually laughed and grabbed him. So I bought him.
I know I am setting a very dangerous precedent where anything she likes she is given, but she does love Monty- (Monty Python- get it?!)- and I do promise to demonstrate more parental authority next time!
Monty has not left Annie's side except for bath time, and she always has him held close. Realising we have found THE special toy, I went in search of another to keep as an emergency back up in case Monty disappeared. Alas... Monty just happens to be special indeed- a German Sigikid Doudou Bunny apparently, and the boutique he came from has no more and cannot order. Ebay too is no help.
So if anyone ever sees one of these- please buy him and I'll pay all costs!

Annie Has a Name!

2010-06-01T08:00:00.001+10:00

Since before Annie was born I have been searching for the perfect name plate decoration for her bedroom door. I thought about making one, but as a perfectionist, I knew that I could never make anything myself that wouldn't bug me every time I looked at it!

We went to the Old Bus Depot Markets here in Canberra and found an artist who makes wooden names to order. I am so pleased with the result. On sticking it to the door, though, I realised it is slightly crooked... it is taking every ounce of will power to not rip it and paint from the door and fix it!

Excuse the unsightly gate in front of the nursery door... these have proved very handy at keeping one small canine from visiting Annie and sharing her toys!

Growing Girl: Vital Stats

2010-05-31T10:46:00.006+10:00

Last week we had Annie's first immunisations done. This was one of those incredibly difficult decisions for us, as I got caught up reading all the biased, agenda -driven articles both for and against vaccines. As I look after kids with Autism, I struggled with views that link immunisations to Autism, and really wasn't sure if I should let Annie have them. The idea of putting such icky materials into our baby girl terrifies me, and I desperately tried to get all the info I could find on the subject. Unfortunately there is very little, if any, objective and really helpful advice.

In the end the only way I made the decision was to ask myself how I would feel if Annie got of the horrendous diseases I am vaccinating her against, and I hadn't allowed her to be immunised. I realised I couldn't live with myself under such a scenario.

So last Wednesday she had her first needles. Delayed 6 weeks and giving our robust exclusively breast-fed little girl every chance to fight any adverse effects from the needles. She cried briefly but a feed comforted her immediately. I, on the other hand, cried long after she was smiling and cooing at Shane.

While there we also had her weighed and measured: she is now 63.5cm long and in the 97th percentile (she has Shane's height) and weighs 5.53kg- perfectly on the 50th percentile. She is so strong and healthy- I am so proud of her!

Light At The End Of The Uni Tunnel!

2010-05-31T10:41:00.008+10:00

I have been neglecting my poor little blog recently. Though I do have a good excuse- promise!

I finish my Arts degree THIS WEEK and have just two essays to do before I graduate! Any spare time I have when Annie is quiet is spent with my lap top doing work. Most of the time, though, she is on my lap "helping".She went to her God- parent's house for a couple of hours yesterday so I could do some work, and had a great time! Her Aunty Jess and Uncle Rory really tired her out- she slept all the way home, then for another hour in her capsule, while we prepared dinner.

I am preparing some posts now, while Miss Annie naps and I can post them over the next couple of days- stay tuned!

The Pram Pickle

2010-05-14T18:53:00.004+10:00

You know how it is. A young couple have recently discovered they are having their first baby. They may or may not have told everyone yet, but smiling and holding hands they decide to "just take a peek" in the baby store. What's the harm? It is always a good idea to know what's available.

Then it hits. The barrage of marketing ploys and cheap tactics. Of designer brands and parental guilt. The box has been opened, and can never be closed- you are in the sights of the evil company directors of Disney, Fisher-Price and Bugaboo...

OK, I will concede that I may be being a tad dramatic... but only a little. While I entered the world of baby "stuff" relatively naive (despite years of nannying and baby stalking), I could quickly recognise a pram brand from 50m and debate the merits of cloth versus disposables with the best of them. I tackled our nursery like an important project- complete with lists and spreadsheets.

I became addicted to parenting magazines such as Practical Parenting and Cosmo Pregnancy as they fed my habit for more products to compare, more clever ideas and inspiration for decorating.

Then I became confused and frustrated. We had a (very) limited budget, and I personally couldn't justify spending $1000's on furniture that would only be used for a short time. I also know me- and my propensity to need a change (hence our white bedspread I can overhaul with different coloured sheets and throw pillows when I become bored- but I digress).

We ended up going reasonably budget with our shopping for Annie's room, getting her cot and bookshelves at IKEA and reusing a chest of drawers and rocking chair that we already had. I found her beautiful cane bassinet for $50 on Ebay and we were lent her car capsule from family.

Then there was the pram. The most angst-ridden decision. I wanted something reasonably fashionable as I would use it all the time, something that would fold pretty small and hopefully one that I could put the Unity Capsule we already had straight into. One day I flippantly told Shane that many families I know go through numerous prams- usually getting the big baby pram and switching to a smaller stroller later. I was told I could choose ONE ONLY.

So thinking I was very clever I finally landed on the Maclaren Techno XLR- a stroller that has an adapter bar to take the Unity Capsule. Haha, I thought- I'll go straight to the light-weight stroller and by-pass the expensive bit. Particularly as we found our stroller on Ebay half the RRP!

This stroller has been brilliant while Annie is small- just putting her straight into it still in the Capsule. She faces me like that and it is great zipping around the shops. Here she is out on her first walk with her Granddad and me at the pond near our house:

The only issue is that she is getting bigger and will soon be just in the stroller- facing outwards. I would much rather be able to walk along chatting to her, especially as she loves the eye-contact. At the moment I am seriously considering getting a reversible pram where she can sit up a little and face me. Then I wonder if the expense is worth it.

What type of pram do you have? What do you love or loathe about it?

My Very First Mother's Day

2010-05-09T22:07:00.002+10:00

Hey Miss Annie Cecilia... Do you know what today is?

It's Mother's Day, Mummy's very first one ever!

Relax Smoosh...It's OK.. don't panic and flail, I know you really are too small to shop by yourself.
Hmm Little One, maybe you could talk to Daddy and see if he has planned anything... after all he is sometimes allowed to go to the shops alone.
Annie: It's OK Mummy, we have a super special secret plan. Some books! But I can't tell you about them because I can't read yet. But Daddy took care of everything.

Today was just lovely, and more than anything I enjoyed spending the day with Shane and Annie. While Mother's day is about honouring mothers and what they do for their families I found myself reflecting upon these two. I am so lucky they have made me a mummy and a wife, and give me a reason to do everything I do.

12 Weeks Old!

2010-05-08T12:26:00.003+10:00

Annie is 12 weeks old today! How crazy is that?! I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by, thinking of her still as our tiny newborn. It's funny though, it also feels like she has been here forever!

She is growing and changing at a phenomenal rate- and she even laughed for the first time last night. Apparently her Jimmy Jams are just hilarious!
She is incredibly strong and while she has always had amazing head control, is now trying so hard to sit up. She can actually pull herself forward and balance upright for a little while. Car trips are when she practices her new skill most, pushing against her straps and straining to see out the window.

Her moods are also less predictable as she grows, and can get quite grumpy of an evening- or at lunchtime in a nice restaurant with Aunty Jess... as I found out yesterday! Shane is convinced Annie doesn't like him as she screams when left with him as I work. The only way to fix this, I think, is to just enjoy more daddy time!

Otherwise, she is still delightful- and I just love her smiles. I love how captivated she is when I sing to her and I love that she thinks the TV is fascinating- allowing me time to shower in the morning!

My "Me To-Do-List"

2010-05-04T14:41:00.002+10:00

When Shane and I were planning to have Annie, one of the most positive aspects of doing it this year is that I get a whole year of just being with her. I can fit in my final two uni classes as well, and finally graduate in July.

Otherwise, 2010 can potentially be a blissful year of chilling in the park with Annie. Problem. Anyone who knows me will know that I cannot do nothing. I must be busy with projects and achievements and being involved.

Already this year I have decided to complete my Certificate IV in disability through work, as it would be nice to leave my job with a formal qualification. It would also be beneficial in the policy work I'd love to do in the Public Service. This course is a full Tuesday every third week, until December, so not too time consuming.

I joined the Australian Breastfeeding Association to meet other mums and oops.. am now fund-raising Co-ordinator! Apparently I'm very friendly and outgoing- also unable to say no!

I'm also really missing community involvement so am toying with the idea of getting involved in Guides again. I loved camping and kayaking and all the fun things that I did with Girl Guides growing up, and co-incidentally my dear friend Jess randomly mentioned her interest in volunteering as a guide leader- so that could be something great to do together.

While I'm busy getting involved and busy again, I thought it best that I begin to finally tackle my weight. So just today, I signed up to a great gym 5 minutes from home that has Pilates and a creche on-site for Miss Annie. At this stage I am planning on making the gym a part of our daily routine- but I have learnt my lesson about being overly ambitious with such plans.

All of this is on top of my few shifts at work to help pay the bills, and oh yeah... take the very best care of Annie that I can.

In one sense it was inevitable that I would fill my maternity time with activity, it's how I roll. It would be great to have time to cross many things of my list of me projects, such as volunteering and losing weight. That said, this may be my only full-time with Annie before beginning my career, so she comes first no matter what. It will just be a matter of balancing her and everything else. I think that having a happy mum and being comfortable with other people looking after her are very positive outcomes that I would like to achieve this year, and this won't happen of the two of us stay home watching Oprah!

Rocky Raccoon

2010-05-01T20:14:00.003+10:00

Meet Rocky.

Rocky was given to Annie the day she was born by her Uncle Glenn and Auntie Tamie. Until now she hasn't been all that interested in interacting with toys, but she has started touching and feeling different textures. I gave her Rocky when she was in a particularly good mood- and she loved him!

She patted his fur, and pulled him close, rubbing her face into him. She then tried to eat him. True love!

Autumn Prettiness

2010-05-01T16:25:00.003+10:00

Just thought I'd share the absolutely stunning autumn display of colour in our front garden. So many leaves have fallen that there is a beautiful thick carpet of every red, orange and yellow imaginable.

Will rake them eventually!

Teaching vs Public Service

2010-04-18T18:16:00.004+10:00

This weekend I have been wading through Public Service applications for graduate programs. I have been debating what to do next year with regard to work. Our original plan had me doing my Grad diploma in Education through 2011 and hopefully beginning full time secondary teaching the following year.

My big concern with teaching is that it is incredibly time consuming and a much bigger work load than people realise- particularly in the early years of your career. I really do need a job where I can leave work at work, and be with Annie entirely when I am home. I want to be a good teacher- and it does take a massive commitment- maybe when Annie is in school.

I have been quite attracted to the public service since moving to Canberra- particularly Fahcsia. This department fits all my interests, and would be an amazing place to work. If I was to begin working full time next year, Shane could also take some time off and even do his Phd. He could also get a lot more time with Annie.

There are so many options once I graduate uni (in just 7 weeks!) that it's quite fun playing with all these ideas. Even better that I get a whole year at home with Annie first!

Bargain Beauty

2010-04-15T16:23:00.003+10:00

I just had to share with you the outfit Annie wore out to the city today.

It is one of the cutest things she has, and the blue makes her eyes sparkle. It looks classic and is great quality- Ralph Lauren baby line.

Best part of all we picked it up from a second hand store for $5 when I was pregnant. Leaving me more money to shop at Jag as I did today... there was a sale, I promise!

Sewing: Annie's Bear

2010-04-15T15:51:00.004+10:00

I have been a little slack with posting- but I have indeed completed my bear sewing project. Given I haven't touched a sewing machine in about 10 years, I followed my machine's instruction manual to start with. Before long I was sewing like a pro... well, at least in a straight line!

The little bear that I made looks a little more like a koala because of its funny flat ears- but i'll just say that was intended. I probably should have practiced a little more before drawing my pattern and leaping in- but it turned out ok.

Annie even hugged him... the first toy she's paid any attention to! (Aren't her mittens cute? Thanks MJ!)

Since I enjoyed sewing so much, my mind is abuzz with future projects. Here is some yummy (and ridiculously expensive) fabric I got from the sewing store. It is the prettiest blue and matches Annie's gorgeous eyes.

I am thinking of trying to make some bibs, using this as a template.

And possibly a little dress for next summer (again for Annie, though I am such a grot, the bibs might be handy for me!)

Now that I am keen on sewing more often I am keeping my machine on the kitchen table... not that we eat there all that often! Will really have to get better about that now.

Sewing Adventures

2010-04-12T14:32:00.002+10:00

Today I am about to use my new sewing machine for the first time. I have bought some plain calico fabric and thread and after reading the instruction manual will attempt to sew!

I did sewing for a year in high school and remember some of the basics so we will see how I go. I am writing a post about my plans here to keep myself accountable, and to make sure I do at least have a play with my beautiful sewing machine. The same beautiful sewing machine that Shane gave me for Christmas and has only just come out of its box... oops!

My first project will be a little plain calico bear for Annie... though I reserve the right to determine what animal it is upon its completion!

And just becasue she is gorgeous... a new Annie picture!

Meeting Clarry

2010-04-10T16:34:00.004+10:00

Annie, Shane and I were up early this morning to go to the first meeting of our mothers/parents group. All of us went through the birth centre at the same time and attended the same pre-natal classes. Only two families could make it today, but it was still a lovely morning.

We sat on picnic rugs on the grass at the Botanic Gardens and let the babies look at each other. Annie met Clarence who is just 5 weeks old (compared to her 8), and I think they hit it off!

He tried to hold her hand, and when she wouldn't pay him any attention, Annie got whacked in the face... ahh young love!

Our little girl seems unimpressed overall with the affections of the opposite sex... something her Daddy and I are more then happy about! Though as Clarence is so cute.. he may just have a chance if he smooths up his strategy!

An Ode To Vegemite

2010-04-10T15:18:00.005+10:00

I have a love. He is dependable, smooth and a loyal long time friend. His name is Vegemite, and he is a 1998 Mazda 626. Yes, a car.

I named Vegemite upon his arrival into our family, back in '98, when dad drove to pick me up for the first time in his new car. The shiny Mazda's dark green colour looked black in the night, and his number plate: 'VEG.." clinched it- Vegemite he was.

This car was my dad's first new car, and would be our transport as I travelled back to his house every school holidays. Vegemite came to represent the fun and security of going home to dad's. When I learned to drive it was in Vegemite, and I will never forget the combined hill-start, three point turn dad made me do on a narrow country road with an embankment either side. I did my driving test in Vegemite and got my licence, with dad giving me Vegemite to take to Uni in Canberra, while he leased a new Mazda 6 through work.

This is a photo of me (2006) road-tripping back to Canberra with Shane and Vegemite- yay independence and a car!

Vegemite continued to serve me well, as I nannied and ran around, looking after disabled kids. He was very reliable and built like a tank. In fact he has been hit twice- and both times drove away with just minor scratches and paint damage, while the Commodore that hit him lost its whole front bumper. The second car that took on Vege was undrivable- while he had a little broken light!

I was very attached to Vegemite, often singing the Happy Little Vegemite song as he got his petrol and taking him on many a long road trip. He drove my bridemaids and me to our hair and makeup appointment on Shane's and my wedding day and was filled with our belongings to move into the first house we bought. Yes, I loved that car.

When we discovered we were having Annie I was worried about our car situation. For a start Shane can't drive Vegemite as he is a manual car, and let's face it- Vegemite is getting on in years. Dad's lease was about to expire, so we made the difficult decision to give Vegemite back to dad and find a new family car.

Enter iSnack 2.0: the new Vegemite!

While an ideal family car, our new Mazda (named by Shane) is huge. It is an SUV after all. It drinks petrol like it's going out of style, and costs a small fortune to run, something we finally got sick of taking Annie on her first roadtrip at Easter.

Money is a little tight at the moment, with just Shane's income and a new baby. The car expense is just something we don't need. This is especially true when I feel I can't go out as it will use too much petrol... not ideal when feeling isolated enough being at home with a baby.

I lamented the car situation and kicked myself for ever letting Vegemite go. After talking to dad, and doing serious thinking... we have a solution. Vegemite is coming home!

The short- lived iSnack 2.0 will be replaced, according to it's namesake, and we will return to the good old loyal Vegemite. Shane will just have to learn to drive a manual, and I can once again zip around in my tank. Vegemite may still go to the giant carpark in the sky due to his advanced years, but we will face that issue then. A problem delayed is a problem solved!

Professional Photos

2010-03-31T23:11:00.004+11:00

When Shane and I were researching wedding photographers two years ago we quickly realised it's an expensive business. Most charged massive shooting fees and then you had to buy your pictures back as part of an astronomically expensive photo package.

Then we found Sebastian. He was by far the best priced photographer we found, and the clincher...we got ALL OUR PICTURES ON A CD!! That's right, so we could copy, print and email them all to our hearts content. All our wedding photos were just gorgeous, and his editing was stunning. And to top it all off Sebastian is just lovely and made us feel like we were hanging out with an old friend. If you are around Canberra, I cannot recommend him highly enough.. go check out http://whitephoenix.com.au/

Anywho.. The wonderful Sebastian was an obvious choice for our next photography project... pregnancy pics and photos of newborn Annie. And today I picked up all our photos!! Here is a selection. I cannot believe how huge I was!

We hope to do regular family portraits, especially as Annie is growing and changing so fast!

Home Alone

2010-03-16T10:32:00.004+11:00

Shane went back to work yesterday after a whole month off with Annie and I. It was a little scary as I have been lucky enough to have Shane home with us since Annie was born, and he has been such a great help. He has become a pro nappy changer and bottle preparer. In fact my first day at home was the first time I even prepared a bottle with my expressed milk to go out!

I felt that this first day alone would set the tone for how I would handle things. I know the first day does not necessarily reflect our day to day routine to come, but I did feel the need to manage well- to prove to myself I could do it.

Little Annie was, as usual, a delight! A perfect angel! We went to our first Breastfeeding Association meeting at 10, and she sat on my lap happily watching the other babies. She then went to sleep so on the way home I paid some bills at the post office.

By the time we were nearly home she was getting quite hungry and let me know it, but had a big feed, and promptly went to sleep. I checked emails, and when she woke up she had a swing. She then went to sleep for 2 hours allowing me to do the biggest house-clean I've done since she was born.

While it has been wonderful to have Shane at home- and I do miss him like crazy when he is at work- we tend to use time at home together like a weekend or holiday. Once he is home, we hang out, talk an watch a DVD. I find that one I have the house to myself I can be as ridiculously anal with the house chores as I like... and I really am obsessive when left to my own devices!

An example of this is that when sorting the laundry I like to fold everything. I just love the little piles of undies and sock bundles, sorted into separate groups for each person. Shane on the other hand throws them all into his drawer- without even grouping the socks into piles according to colour!! I know, crazy! I actually find it rather relaxing to sort and clean and make everything perfect. And when you see the difference in our approaches, you can understand it is easier for me to clean when I am home alone.

I then even managed to cook up a roast dinner and get Annie ready to go watch Shane play basketball in the evening. She had a feed before bed and went straight to sleep in her bassinet allowing Shane and I to have a nice quiet dinner together!

I know that I really packed everything in yesterday, and everyday won't and can't be that productive, I am confident that Annie and I will be fine together.