It's a...

A letter to our baby.

To my beautiful darling,

Well my sweet, this has been a huge week. On Monday we had the big 18 week scan. This was the super important one that checks that you are growing and developing fine.

Luckily you are just perfect- a little bigger than normal and very strong and healthy!

It was so good to see so much of you- the scan lasted more than an hour and we got to watch the whole thing on a big screen in front of us. You are quite the wriggler, my darling!


There was just one small issue- it looks like Mummy has placenta previa. This is where the placenta in laying over the cervix- your escape route! This could turn out fine, as it often moves up to where it belongs as we both grow and stretch. I am quite hoping this is the case as I'd like us to stay with the lovely natural birth centre we are booked into.

But the big news, my sweet baby, is that we able to find out your sex! We found out with your big sister and it meant that we were able to bond that much more. When she was born, we were just excited to finally meet our little girl and discover who she was- what she looked like, what she did etc.

So we waited eagerly for the scan to show and it would seem that you are a BOY!!! We are beyond thrilled and can't wait to meet you and discover who you are- our beautiful, sweet boy!

Lots of love,
Mummy, Daddy and Annie
xxx

"More Annie?"

So, here I am- reviving my sad little blog after a ridiculous absence!

Let's just say that I am a pregnant mum with a super active toddler. Speaking of which, Annie is the reason I have decided that I will try being a better blogger. I enjoy having a record of her growth and milestones on here, and she just loves seeing pictures of herself. In fact whenever I pull out my camera or phone she runs from wherever she is and peers at the screen asking to see "More Annie?". So that's what I will try to give her (and my annoyed long-distance family)- More Annie!

Annie will be 2 on February 13th. I can't believe how fast that has gone. She is speaking so much now, and up to 3-6 word sentences. She will try any new word she hears- have to be super careful there- and has even started trying to sing. She is an amazingly active and spirited little girl, very rarely walking but preferring to run from one activity to another. She is still rather stubborn and has a very strong will, especially about asserting her independence. The screech "My turn, me do!" can be heard at least 100 times a day. She is still very sweet though, and loves 'big tuddles', and caring for her baby dolls.

On January 1st, we decided to try moving her into her own bed in her room. She has been sleeping in my bed until then, but I was unsure it could continue while I am pregnant- I need t stretch and not have a small person laying all over me. We also wanted to start the transition long before the baby came, so she didn't feel replaced in any way. And what would you know, that first night she slept from 8pm- 5am! She has never slept that long in a stretch! Shane and I got less sleep than usual as we were up checking on her all the time. OK, fine- I was checking.

We have stuck withe the nightly routine of a book (always Gossie) and then into her own bed. She has really settled into this and knows the drill. The time she spends there varies, most of the time she appears at my bedside, and Shane heads to her bed. It's all progress though!

She absolutely loves Lego and will remain focused on building a masterpiece for up to an hour at a time. It is the only time she is happy to potter by herself, and her focus on he task is surprising. She will then carry out some amazing creation and present with a flourish and 'ta-da!'.

I took her to the lake a few times last week, and she was so excited o go in swimming. She even sat down on the sand and edged her way further into the water, until she was sitting with the water up to her chin. She kept exclaiming 'nice water'- it was a very hot day!

She starts Gymnastics in just a couple of weeks- hopefully that will help with all her excess energy! Can't wait to take those cute pics!

And in honor of Australia Day here today- here is a picture of Annie with a genuine Happy Little Vegemite face. (Thanks Uncle Carl!)

Here We Go Again...

So I am Pregnant!

I have put off writing a blog post about it as I think I needed time to lick my wounds after fertility treatment and time to just enjoy being pregnant. It happened the very first month of Clomid treatment- thank heavens, and I am now just over 8 weeks.

The emotional roller coaster that we have been on for the last couple of months has been intense- and I certainly don't know how I could have continued. The treatment was straight forward enough- Clomid tablets on days 5-9 of my cycle and bloods starting day 8. From then I had to drive out to the fertility Clinic on the other side of town every second morning for a 7.30 test. The drive alone took 40minutes and usually fell on my workdays, so I would have to arrange alternative day care drop offs for Annie.

I would call up at 2pm that day for results and even that first day they just quickly spurted out HcG and Progesterone levels without further explanation. It would be indicative of the entire process, where I really had no idea what certain hormone levels or terms meant, and was offered no further insights. It was a stressful, alienating and vulnerable experience.

The worst moment of it all, and the one that really sums up the experience was when I had my positive pregnancy test. I called them up and asked if I still needed to come in for bloods the following day. They said I should and I would have a pregnancy test done. Fine. I proudly showed my test strip and the two happy little lines to the nurse before she dismissively said "Yes well, sometimes the ovulation drugs stay in the system and give a false positive".

I was devastated. I'd had over a day to think I was pregnant, and a day of relief at the whole process being over. The sudden doubt cast over the situation was just as if I lost the baby, and no amount of positive thinking helped. I was also so angry. So angry that it was just typical of the whole fertility treatment experience that not one of the countless nurses I had seen in the weeks prior had thought to mention this chance.

I received a positive Hcg result that day, but had to wait two days to see the level rising- indicating a definite pregnancy. Even now, I am cautiously excited, a little hesitant to get too attached.

We had a scan last week- and there is a super healthy, perfect baby there.

Bubs is due June 25th- the day after my 25th Birthday! Just so long as I am not in labour on my birthday :)

Quick Bits and Bobs

My beautiful girl is taking her nap (wore her out with an early morning catch up with my gorgeous friend Gab), so I thought I would quickly write an update on how things are here.

Annie is still amazing and scary smart! She is making connections between words and concepts I thought beyond her and is most of the time happy and full of positive (read: manic) energy. The best way to curb her will-full tantrums and meltdowns is to ask her a question and redirect her attention that way- always letting her thin she decided to make the move! She loves to help and insists on 'making' my morning coffee. I just let he spoon out the coffee and sugar into the cup- resulting in a usually drinkable beverage!

Things are going great guns for my gorgeous Shane. He is now a PUBLISHED author!!! He wrote an awesome graphic novel and is having a fabulous run of luck in similar areas. I am so proud of him, but want to do a designated blog on his work- whenever I get a chance!

I am in the midst of my first month of clomid fertility treatment and already very over it. My veins apparently aren't great so repeated attempts at blood tests and massive bruising every couple of days is wearing thin. The 40 minute trek to the other side of the city to the fertility clinic before 7.30am on these days is also quickly losing it's novelty value. Will also write a blog on this whole process at some stage- just need more hours in the day! Otherwise I am loving gardening at the moment, and am slowly making improvements around the place.

And just because she is gorgeous- my Annie:

Fertility

Shane and I are currently trying for another baby. I hadn't planned on posting anything until there was actually some news to post- but I have just received some shocking news.

I am still seeing my fabulous ob/gyn who fixed up all my unhealed birth injuries from Annie. Routine follow up and I mentioned that we were trying again. He wanted to do bloods just to make sure everything was healthy and working as it should. I thought absolutely nothing of it until I got the results on Monday. Turns out there is a little hormonal imbalance which explains the cycle irregularity- no biggie. But they have a new test now- an anti mullerian hormone test which, put simply, measures your egg reserve. Given I am just 24 years old the scaled number should be well over 30 or more. I have a reading of just 6.

This means that I have a very very small supply of eggs left in my basket and this puts me in the very low fertility class. As time is running out- your eggs decrease as you age, my doctor is on a mission to get me pregnant! Hmm, that didn't sound right. I am being out on Clomid next cycle, a drug which forces your body to ready and release an egg. I've been referred to our fertility centre where I'll be monitored closely and my 'hatching eggs' will be counted- they want to warn me if there are multiples etc.

I am still in shock, some three days later, and have only just been able to think about writing something. I am however so amazed at all the luck I have had to this point.

I am so lucky that I met my gorgeous husband first year of uni and we both had the feeling that "this is it'. I am so lucky he asked me to marry him just 18 months later. I am so lucky we found our beautiful house and were able to buy it just two months after getting married. I am so so so lucky that we fell pregnant quite quickly with our beautiful daughter. I am so lucky that I mentioned our attempts to conceive and got this test done-I never would have known otherwise.

I guess I am feeling a little shell-shocked that at 24 I am looking at such rapidly declining fertility. I just wish I could express how grateful I am that I have followed my heart into motherhood knowing that it was what I was meant to do. All I ever wanted to do. I will have a career, but after my children. Imagine if I had done what everyone else does and when I'd graduated uni- gone straight into a career for a decade or more before attempting to start a family.

I do somehow think that maybe I knew. Something told me to make my life choices the way I did for a reason. Or something.

If It's Not OK For Annie...

I have a new diet philosophy. One that might actually work.

I have put on the weight in a bad way since having Annie-Boo 18 Months ago. I am still breastfeeding, and have only just accepted that it may not be the magic weight loss plan they say it is. If anything I have put on more weight feeding an active toddler. Can you believe 'they' lied?!

Anywho- I have admitted that I may actually have to be proactive if I want to get back down to a decent weight. Now, like most women I have tried it all. Weight Watchers, fads and even not eating at all. Most were successful for a little while, then I'd slip back into old habits and find all the weight I'd lost.

I recently had a little bit of an epiphany. It was a normal day and I was making Annie her lunch. She has one of those little divider plates with different sections for different foods. I made her a fun little selection including fresh fruit, cheese, a wholegrain sandwich and some yogurt. She had a sippy cup of water as well. I then proceeded to make another cup of coffee with sugar, grab a chocolate biscuit and clean up the kitchen as she ate.

Huh. Why was I taking so much care with what I fed her, with not a thought for myself? It is just one example of my whole mindset since having a child- one I am sure most mums can relate to. It extends to all aspects of life including exercise- she isn't a fan of her pram so we don't walk anymore.

I know it is a fairly simple realisation, but I thought that if I took the care with my diet that I do Annie's, it may lead to an overall healthier approach. I am actually fairly strict with Annie's diet- not processed crap and certainly no junk or sweets. Imagine if I applied it to myself?!

So from now on my diet philosophy is "If it's not OK for Annie... It's not OK for me!"

Moo More?

In the last few weeks Annie's vocabulary has come along in huge strides! She has added some impressive new words to her list. Here is everything (I think!) that she says now at 17 months.

Mummy
Daddy
Nummy (yummy)
Dummy
Nappy
Yes (said with the cutest little lisp and an enthusiastic nod of her head)
No
Bar (for Barkley)
Puppy (a little "woof woof" can sometimes be also prompted!")
Ball
Yay
Uh Oh
Hi
"Woe Woe" (meaning Row Row, and done with little rowing arm movements signalling she wants to sing "Row Row Row your boat...)
Roar (done enthusatically when she sees a lion)
"Moo More?" (One more? Asked after every song and book, and inevitably results in agreeing just for the sheer cutest of her little face when he asks!)

We have also had sporadic appearances of Monkey, cheese, shoes, wow and tickle

To be honest I had started to wonder about her talking as her comprehension was amazing and she could even follow complex directions, but just didn't seem interested in talking. I guess I was just surprised as she was walking at 9 months, so the language did seem to lag quite a bit. No problems now though, and she is really attempting to mimic so much that she hears, building on her now quite impressive vocab.

She is also starting to build basic sentences- her first being after a breastfeed when she smiled at me and said "Mummy Nummy!". I actually got teary at this one.

"Moo More?" is her most oft heard sentence, as well as "Mummy...[insert desired object here]" eg "Mummy.. NAPPY!"

Annie is already starting to show interest in toilet training, and has been telling us when she has done something for a couple of months. She is fascinated by the toilet and asks to get on it daily, but then gets a little scared and wants off. We are certainly no pushing her, but letting her take the lead on this one. She does love her little padded ducky toilet seat, and will demand the duck song whenever she sees it!

She really is a toddler now- crazy how fast that went!